From July 2017

Friday Frolics – 21st July 2017

Welcome to Friday Frolics, the linky with the giggles. Friday Frolics is hosted by myself, Claire at Life, Love and Dirty Dishes, and Emma at Island Living 365. It’s the place to link up your funny posts and snort your tea whilst enjoying some others.

Thank you to everyone who linked up their fantastic funny posts last time.

 
Friday Favourites

My favourite post from last week: So Happy in Town – Why Can’t We Let Our Kids Just Be? Susie asks the all important question: why are we actually bothering with all these ever more ambitious activities for our kids when we could probably all be happier sitting at home, leaving them to their own devices with their toys? I completely agree. There feels like so much pressure to be doing things these days, and half the time it barely seems worth the stress!

Claire’s favourite post: ‘Lisapomerantzster: Are We There Yet? – 101 Things I Can’t Believe I have Already Said This Summer. I often feel like I must have been a parrot in a former life. I squawk away the same things day after day and no one really pays any attention. I picked Lisa’s post because it totally sums up this feeling.’

Emma’s favourite post: ‘Our Rach Blogs – Bra Wars. I’m with Rach on this one. I’m never happy with my boobs and now I can’t wait to free them when I get home. I know, classy. I’m starting a new campaign for summer “Free the boobs!” ‘

 
Most Read Post

The Single Swan – The Little Known Benefits of Blogging

 
If you missed these posts last week, do check them out – guaranteed a laugh.

Friday Favourites writers: Please feel free to grab the Featured Blogger badge below.

 

R is for Hoppit

 
 
I am looking forward to all the fun and frolics, but first for a couple of serious bits.

The Rules:

1. Make us laugh! Friday Frolics is all about the funny, so please no reviews, or how to make a finger puppet (unless, of course, they are hilarious).

2. Include the Friday Frolics badge in the post that you are linking. If you do not include the badge, you will not be eligible to feature as a Friday Favourite.

3. Comment on one of each of the hosts’ posts, and at least one other post for every post you link up. Share the fun people! Use #FridayFrolics when you comment on posts so people can see where you are linking from.

4. You can link up to 2 posts, old or new.

 
Other Stuff:

By joining this linky, you consent to receiving e-mails from me about Friday Frolics.

Follow us on twitter and tweet your links to @lifeloveanddd @sillymummy88 using #FridayFrolics for a RT.

The Linky will open at 8pm on Thursday evening, and close at 11pm on Sunday.

 
Now, on with the linky…

 

R is for Hoppit

 
 

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The Hunger Games

In the dystopian, post-apocalyptic nation of ‘Tesco’, Mumniss Evertired is chosen to compete in the Hunger Games. Participants (‘Tributes’) in the Games are selected from the ranks of parents who forgot to put in the online food shop order, and now have nothing in for tea. They must fight to the death to obtain the supermarket shop with toddlers in tow. The winning Tribute is rewarded by leaving the shop with actual food and the same number of children they entered with. The purpose of the Hunger Games is to provide entertainment for childless shoppers, and to punish parents for failing to conform to the system of the online shop.

At the start of the Games, Mumniss is introduced to her mentor, a past victor of the Games, and now a grandmother. The elderly mentor offers advice and guidance to Mumniss: ‘You’ve got your hands full!’ Tributes recognise the importance of collecting free fruit at the start of the Games, to provide as gifts to placate the toddlers as the Games progress. The toddlers must not leave the shopping trolley at any point. Certain doom awaits any Tribute whose toddlers succeed in escaping the confines of the trolleys.

As the Games begin, many Tributes do not survive the first aisle. Their toddlers declare that they now hate apples, oranges and bananas, and throw themselves on the floor, refusing to proceed unless they are allowed to eat cheesecake in the trolley instead. With these weakest Tributes dying of shame, Mumniss, and the other Tributes who succeeded in this first challenge of pleasing the toddlers with offers of free apples, proceed into the dangerous territory of the ‘chilly, too cold, don’t like it, I’M COOOOOLLD’ aisles. Mumniss successfully navigates this treacherous terrain by employing the dual strategies of bribing the toddlers with promises of toys, and declaring the entire family to now be vegans, thus allowing virtually the whole chilled foods section to be skipped.

Mumniss makes a near fatal strategic error in moving too swiftly to the bribery portion of the Games, providing the toddlers with toys and treats with well over half the contest still remaining. Mumniss faces disaster in the lentils and pulses aisle (vegans now), when it becomes apparent there is nowhere left to go in the bribery stakes but to offer the toddlers a car in exchange for their compliance. Mumniss realises that survival in the Hunger Games requires backstabbing ruthlessness. Promise whatever you have to, with no intention of keeping that promise.

Tributes form alliances with each other, but these are treacherous and short lived. It is each mum for herself. Tributes quickly realise that a major meltdown from another Tribute’s toddlers can stun your own into much needed submission. There are gains to be made from selling out your fellow contestants and encouraging tantrums amongst their offspring. By this stage, all the Tributes are battle hardened. They step over the bodies of their fallen comrades in the crisps aisle.

The most dangerous time is yet to come for Mumniss. She must navigate the sweets and chocolate aisle. Here Mumniss goes rogue. She makes a controversial decision to take the path of least resistance, and throws packets of sweets and chocolate (not THAT vegan) at the surprised toddlers before they can even begin to organise a sustained attack of whining. It’s a calculated risk. The move will be unpopular with the Heads of the Games. Tributes are supposed to maintain an organic, superfoods trolley throughout. Mumniss just wants to reach the tills.

The tills are in sight and Mumniss has almost made it. Only one other Tribute remains. As they race to the checkout, the cruel and callous Game Heads have one last trick. They release wild toddlers into the shop. As the feral infants tear through the aisles, grabbing items from the shelves with abandon, Mumniss desperately tries to prevent her own toddlers from joining them. She sees her last chance and seizes it: ‘If you just sit down and be quiet, you can go on Gaston the Ladybird when we’ve got through the checkout!’ Mumniss holds her breath. There is silence. First one toddler, then the other, sits down. The other Tribute has failed. He is knocked to his knees as his own children race to join the wild beasts in the magazine aisle. Mumniss throws her shopping onto the conveyor belt.

Mumniss is crowned the winner of the 3824518954th Hunger Games. She can return to her now vegan home. But the Games continue. There are always parents who forgot to do the online shop.

May the odds be ever in your favour.

Friday Frolics – 14th July 2017

Welcome to Friday Frolics, the linky with the giggles. Friday Frolics is hosted by myself, Claire at Life, Love and Dirty Dishes, and Emma at Island Living 365. It’s the place to link up your funny posts and snort your tea whilst enjoying some others.

Thank you to everyone who linked up their fantastic funny posts last time.

 
Friday Favourites

My favourite post from last week: Slouching Towards Thatcham – A Bedtime Story. A great children’s book parody of Edge of Glory. Ironic as we all know reading the same favourite book over and over to little ones can drive you ‘Gaga’ (see what I did?!)

Claire’s favourite post: ‘Turning Up in Devon – Village Survival, A Guaranteed Muffin-top. This is the best recipe I have read. I’ve often wondered when I’m stirring my ingredients if it’s supposed to look like cat sick. At least this one tells me!’

Emma’s favourite post: ‘Absolutely Prabulous – If You Really Love Your Vagina, Don’t Glitter Bomb it! Apparently 2017 will be remembered as the year we started glitter bombing our vaginas. Don’t do it peeps, step away from the sparkles! Glitter belongs in the arts and crafts box, not in our lady box/vagina/whatever you want to call it. A hilarious post from Prabs in which she makes her feelings very clear.’

 
Most Read Post

Also: Absolutely Prabulous – If You Really Love Your Vagina, Don’t Glitter Bomb it!

 
If you missed these posts last week, do check them out – guaranteed a laugh.

Friday Favourites writers: Please feel free to grab the Featured Blogger badge below.

 

R is for Hoppit

 
 
I am looking forward to all the fun and frolics, but first for a couple of serious bits.

The Rules:

1. Make us laugh! Friday Frolics is all about the funny, so please no reviews, or how to make a finger puppet (unless, of course, they are hilarious).

2. Include the Friday Frolics badge in the post that you are linking. If you do not include the badge, you will not be eligible to feature as a Friday Favourite.

3. Comment on one of each of the hosts’ posts, and at least one other post for every post you link up. Share the fun people! Use #FridayFrolics when you comment on posts so people can see where you are linking from.

4. You can link up to 2 posts, old or new.

 
Other Stuff:

By joining this linky, you consent to receiving e-mails from me about Friday Frolics.

Follow us on twitter and tweet your links to @lifeloveanddd @sillymummy88 using #FridayFrolics for a RT.

The Linky will open at 8pm on Thursday evening, and close at 11pm on Sunday.

 
Now, on with the linky…

 

R is for Hoppit

 
 

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Friday Frolics – 7th July 2017

Welcome to Friday Frolics, the linky with the giggles. Friday Frolics is hosted by myself, Claire at Life, Love and Dirty Dishes, and Emma at Island Living 365. It’s the place to link up your funny posts and snort your tea whilst enjoying some others.

Thank you to everyone who linked up their fantastic funny posts last time.

 
Friday Favourites

My favourite post from last week: The Hollyhock Door – Ten (and a half) things about traveling with a preschooler . The joys of travel with small children. I think staying home is probably the way to go. Still, good to know kids experience the crushing disappointment of plane food just like adults.

Claire’s favourite post: ‘Sparkles & Stretchmarks – The Threenager Who Came to Tea. Dinner time negotiations and toddler meltdowns. All very familiar territory. I loved this post.’

Emma’s favourite post: ‘Whisper to Roar – 24 Things I Have Learnt From Pretty Little Liars. This post made me really chuckle. I have been hopelessly addicted to PLL for so long. This is despite the very obvious flaws in the plot and the fact that the teenagers had such a thirst for coffee that in comparison my heavy caffeine addiction looked healthy. Yes, I will miss PLL. I always knew there was a twin though! Just saying ;-)’

 
Most Read Post

The Squirmy Popple – Is it Bad if Your Daughter Likes Pink?

 
If you missed these posts last week, do check them out – guaranteed a laugh.

Friday Favourites writers: Please feel free to grab the Featured Blogger badge below.

 

R is for Hoppit

 
 
I am looking forward to all the fun and frolics, but first for a couple of serious bits.

The Rules:

1. Make us laugh! Friday Frolics is all about the funny, so please no reviews, or how to make a finger puppet (unless, of course, they are hilarious).

2. Include the Friday Frolics badge in the post that you are linking. If you do not include the badge, you will not be eligible to feature as a Friday Favourite.

3. Comment on one of each of the hosts’ posts, and at least one other post for every post you link up. Share the fun people! Use #FridayFrolics when you comment on posts so people can see where you are linking from.

4. You can link up to 2 posts, old or new.

 
Other Stuff:

By joining this linky, you consent to receiving e-mails from me about Friday Frolics.

Follow us on twitter and tweet your links to @lifeloveanddd @sillymummy88 using #FridayFrolics for a RT.

The Linky will open at 8pm on Thursday evening, and close at 11pm on Sunday.

 
Now, on with the linky…

 

R is for Hoppit

 
 

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