Are The Toddlers (*Gasp*) Brexit Supporters?

europe-253311_1280As a firm EU ‘Remain’ supporter, I am becoming increasingly concerned that The Toddlers may, in fact, be Brexit sympathisers. There are clear signs to support this theory.

1. The Toddlers are always very upset when other toddlers, toddlers who are not them, come over here and take their toys. Even if they didn’t want the toy and were playing with something else. Even if the toy was not, in fact, theirs.

2. The Toddlers are not happy about Mummy taking away their sovereignty. They feel that Mummy is constantly telling them what they can and can’t do. They believe that they should be in charge of their own decision making. Toddler rule for toddler people!

The Toddlers feel this way despite all the benefits and assistance they receive from Mummy.

The Toddlers also feel this way despite the lack of any realistic plan for how they would manage on their own.

3. The Toddlers object to anyone who wishes to impose regulations, however sensible, upon them. They are sick of all these directives about wearing two shoes, not playing in the traffic, not chewing on the cat… It’s just endless, ridiculous restrictions and red tape.

4. The Toddlers have a slight tendency to make up ‘facts’. The entirely fabricated nature of what they are saying in no way undermines the passion with which they are saying it.

5. The Toddlers are opposed to being told that they can not discriminate against people on unreasonable grounds. The Toddlers enjoy discriminating against people for no good reason. The Toddlers consider it their prerogative to refuse to speak to people, and indeed to ban them from the premises, on grounds including, but not limited to: having a beard, not having a beard, not liking their shoes, not liking their buttons, not liking their elbow, disapproving of their orientation (i.e. they’re standing in the wrong place), race issues (i.e. they outran the toddlers), smelliness, and just simply ‘NO’.

6. Despite The Toddlers’ desire to restrict the movement of other people into their territory (because they are not willing to share their toys), The Toddlers themselves intend to continue to move freely into others’ territories. The Toddlers do not see anything wrong with this policy. (Upon arrival in someone else’s territory, The Toddlers like to speak loudly to the ‘natives’, demand to be provided with their favourite foods, and recreate an environment that looks exactly like the one they just left.)

7. The Toddlers rarely care if no one agrees with them, and the actual evidence is not exactly in their favour: they are still right, and they are going to stamp their feet.

8. The Toddlers sometimes feel very suspicious of random people. They are not sure why, but they are very sure those people are suspicious and should be made to leave. The Toddlers will change who they are suspicious of on a whim.

9. The Toddlers have a vague sense that the world should be revolving around them because they are very important. They are not entirely able to justify this opinion, but are prepared to shout very loudly about it.

10. Frankly, The Toddlers won’t stand for anyone wanting to mess with their bananas. Even though no one is actually trying to mess with their bananas, the toddlers remain wary and indignant.

Or perhaps these are simply signs that Boris Johnson is behaving like a toddler? That could be it.

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Cuddle Fairy


  1. Alice Mills says:

    Well, I’m still in the baby stage, but you have certainly painted a fantastic picture of the not too distant future…..I also think you might be on to something here?! Haha!! Thank goodness they can’t vote yet! #twinklytuesday

  2. Jennifer says:

    And doesn’t this just break it down to what it really is? Babies screaming for their way. What’s going on in the EU, goes on in the US every day. Is the state more important that the Federal Government? Who gets to make which law? Will the state take the Fed to court over a law it doesn’t to follow or the other way around?

  3. Kelly says:

    Ha ha …I think you may have just cracked it!!! Someone give Boris a rusk and a Thomas the Tank comic and might just quieten!!

  4. This is brilliant! I was literally laughing so loud, you’ve hit the nail on the head and maybe boris just needs an extra nap in the day and a nice snack..he might pipe down then!?! very funny take on it all and like you am a firm remain supporter 🙂 #TwinklyTuesday

  5. haaaaa! This is amazing! As a fellow in-er i couldn’t agree more with you! i’M going to have to have a firm talking to my two and try to convince them that sharing with others and backing anything to do with Boris or that Farage fella is a bad idea! #Chucklemums

  6. Kaye says:

    I think you may be right! Though I also don’t like anyone messing with my bananas either.. haha. Thanks for linking up to #MarvMondays. Kaye xo

  7. I haven’t been following your saga over there very closely, but we seem to have some toddlers running things also. All you need to do is flash shiny stuff at them to get them to do whatever you want here apparently. Very funny post, as always #sharewithme

  8. wendy says:

    Love it, my boy is a Brexit supporter too it seems. This post has helped me understand the EU better than any news article I have read haha.xx #BloggerClubUK

  9. John Adams says:

    I like this comparison a lot. Made me chuckle. As it happens, both my kids are firmly in the “remain” camp, the pre-schooler telling her big siuster very proudly when she could identify a “leave” voter on the radio yesterday! #BrilliantBlogPosts

  10. Anca says:

    Sadly many of the remain campaign behave like toddlers too. On the debate at BBC I was amazed by some of their answers. We’ll see the result pretty soon.

  11. Laugh out loud brilliant!! I absolutely love this analogy, and unfortunately it does sound like your toddlers are brexit supporters…! But fear not, toddlers are all born as politicians, but most become normal functioning indiduals with capable reasoning and a full understanding of sharing, nurturing, and respecting, once they are able to vote!! Those who don’t, have been brainwashed by a government conspiracy to have their brains remain as the underdeveloped politician ones they were born with!

  12. MMT says:

    Silly Mummy nails it again. A wonderfully topical post, superbly observing the fact that those politicians talk less sense than our two year olds.
    Love it.
    You can REMAIN #IN my #coolmumclub every day of the week.
    PS. Boris Johnson reminds me of Winnie the Pooh.

  13. Oh my effin God! This is spot-on!!! Yes – IN IN IN!!! Not just because I was ‘in’ anyway, but just to mess with their little toddler minds. Even though I came across your awesome post because of #FridayFrolics, I’m so pleased I did. I’m now your greatest fan…until you want something different to me and then I will RisforHoppxit your ass! He he! xxx

  14. Ellen says:

    I LOVE this. I am a fellow remain supporter and cannot believe the ridiculous arguments and crap spouted by the leave camp (not that the remain campaign has been brilliant). They are definitely behaving like toddlers. Can we put Nigel Farage on the naughty step…forever should do it. #ablogginggoodtime

  15. Jane Taylor says:

    How have I not visited you more often?!!! You are ace! I’m so pleased Friday frolics brought me here after voting ‘in’ at the elections.

    This is such a clever and brilliantly funny post! Bravo! I love the parallel you draw so skilfully. Funny Lady!

    I look forward to popping back again. #FridayFrolics

  16. Lee Gaitan says:

    You have managed to outshine your previous brilliance with this one. Wow, Lucy, so clever and ingenious–and packing a wallop! Keeping my fingers crossed. The repercussions of an exit would be worldwide.

  17. Well…let’s hope that no-one is now going to mess with our bananas! Perhaps Britain has just gone bananas. Boris is definitely bananas. Sorry for the repetition – it seems to sum up this morning! A very clever and funny post. Alison x #FridayFrolics

  18. Alison says:

    Sadly so so true ? You’ll be pleased to know this made me laugh on a day I’ve felt so sad. I also voted remain and feel so much uncertainty for the future today. But it’s also reminded me, we MUST retain a sense of humour and continue to challenge, question, believe in better and teach our children about the importance of democracy no matter if we occasionally feel cheated when it goes in a direction we can’t agree with. #FridayFrolics

  19. Yvonne says:

    Oh no, I think my preschoolers might be too! gasp! This did make me giggle, especially the tendency to make up ‘facts’ 🙂 xxx #MarvMondays

  20. Mim says:

    This is my absolutely favourite Brexit post/commentary hands down! I suspect mine are in cahoots, oh dear. To be fair though, I would ban beards in our house too! x #TheList

  21. I don’t know much about the EU/Brexit situation, so I had to read through the comments above. It seems as if this is one thing our countries have in common, they seem to be run by toddlers who want things NOW! Not in a minute or in an hour, or tomorrow, but NOW! Then you give them the thing they want and they really didn’t want it to begin with. Bloody toddlers!

  22. Ha ha ha ha I was worrying about this the whole way through – holy crap what are our children learning and being taught but your final sentence clinched it for me ha ha ha I think our toddlers are fine!

    Thanks for linking to #ablogginggoodtime x

  23. Jo Sandelson says:

    So true – all reason blown to the four winds, Particularly liked No. 8 ‘Suspicious of random people’. Very good analogy to untold comments (crap) I’ve read and heard over the weeks and months. Jo x

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