Cardboard Panda: The Ten Funniest Things The Toddler Said Last Week

Time once more for the Ten Funniest Things The Toddler Said, this week featuring The Baby’s Corner and, unexpectedly, a silent item.

Over to The Toddler:

1. On Silly Mummy, putting up with her

Silly Daddy does an office job, and so generally works regular Monday to Friday hours. However, he occasionally has to do some extra hours on a Saturday. So it is a Saturday, and Silly Daddy is at work. The Toddler and The Baby have been out with Silly Mummy. Heading home, The Toddler is asking whether Silly Daddy will be there. Silly Mummy explains that Silly Daddy won’t be back until dinner time, like during the week, concluding flippantly: ‘And you’ll have to put up with Mummy.’
The Toddler nods seriously: ‘Yes, like I normally do.’ How rude.

2. On farewells, rude

The Toddler’s farewells are becoming significantly less polite: ‘See you soon. Don’t have a lovely day.’

3. On Silly Daddy’s shoe

The Toddler has something important she needs to tell Silly Mummy. She makes sure she has Silly Mummy’s full attention for her urgent and riveting tale: ‘Mummy, Mummy, MUMMY…I had a lovely time walking on Daddy’s shoe. And he said, “Give it back”.’ She runs off. Apparently that’s it. Well, that’s…good to know.

4. On herself, being the First Lady

It should be noted here that Silly Mummy often refers to The Toddler and The Baby as ‘ladies’. Also that The Toddler wants to come to the dinner table first. These facts, rather than an unusually sophisticated grasp on American politics for a two year old, probably explain her charging across the room announcing: ‘I’m the First Lady!’

5. On Kung Fu Panda

Silly Daddy has asked The Toddler if she’d like to watch Kung Fu Panda later. She is now very excited about the impending viewing of: ‘Cardboard Panda!’

6. On additional information, confusing

The Toddler’s explanations of her statements have progressed from adding nothing to adding contradiction and confusion: ‘When Grandma comes on Saturday, she doesn’t always come on Saturday.’

7. On road safety

The Toddler and The Baby are in the hallway, engaged in a game of imaginary outings. They’re mostly shopping. However, it does appear that The Toddler has somewhat misunderstood the principles of road safety: ‘Come on, The Baby, let’s get to the main road.’ The rule would be stay away from the main road, The Toddler, not aim for it.

8. On psychoanalysis

The Toddler has taken up impersonating Sigmund Freud this week, and now responds to most information with: ‘Hmm, interesting.’ (Sometimes she opts for outright sarcasm, and responds to everything with a very disingenuous: ‘That’s interesting.’)

9. On her sister, wanting her back

Silly Daddy has walked off with The Baby like he owns her, and The Toddler is not happy. She speaks to Silly Daddy firmly: ‘Daddy, can you bring The Baby back cos that’s my sister.’

10. On armed (with a Peppa Pig rolling pin) robbery

(This final item is admittedly not something The Toddler said, but is deserving of a mention nonetheless.)

The Baby is pushing around her little toy shopping trolley. The Toddler comes up behind her with a toy Peppa Pig rolling pin, and points it at The Baby’s back. She proceeds to take the trolley from The Baby. It is essentially a toddler stick up.

The Baby’s Corner

The Baby can say ‘Grandma’ (it was ‘Amama’, but now she has mastered ‘Grandma’). She cannot, however, say ‘Grandad’. She has solved this dilemma in the obvious manner: she calls Grandad ‘Grandma’. The Baby has seen a man at the till in the coffee shop. He reminds her of Grandad. As such, she is pointing at him whilst insistently yelling, ‘Grandma! Grandma!’ The man looks confused. Having paid, he goes to sit down (unsurprisingly, a long way from The Baby). The Baby is offended: ‘Where’s Grandma gone?’


If you’d like to see further posts in the ‘Ten Funniest Things The Toddler Said Last Week’ feature, they can be found here.


  1. I love the random things that toddlers have to tell you urgently – walking on Daddy’s shoe and having to give it back is not one we’ve had here though (yet!) Jessica also gets quite protective over her baby sister – she gets quite upset if I pretend to walk away when Sophie’s having a tantrum and leave her somewhere – I get a lot of “No, don’t leave my sister!” – thankfully usually at the point that Sophie’s given up and started following us again! Hope The Toddler’s road safety skills improve especially if she’s trying to teach it to The Baby! The Toddler stick-up made me laugh – poor The Baby having to give up her shopping trolley like that! Thanks for linking up to #ftmob

  2. Fran says:

    the grandma one is hilarious. Very funny.reminded me of when my kids used to call any auld fella with white hair and glasses Santa. AH happy times. Thanks for sharing#familyfun

  3. Hahaha!! You had me in stitches. Oh the wonderfully clever things little ones can say, and they amuze us to no end. I was talking to my now grown son the other day and I told him what he used to say to us when he was 3. Somethings you just never forget.

  4. I couldn’t decide whether the cardboard panda or the psychoanalysis was my favourite this week and then the baby went and beat it. You have a new star in the making there. It made me LOL. Brought back fond memories! TY for linking up with #FamilyFun ?

  5. This is beyond hilarious! Your toddler & mine would have a great time together although they would probably fight to the death over who will be first to the table. Our daughter gets so angry if she isn’t first! Love the toddler stick up too lol Thanks so much for linking up with #bloggerclubuk it’s lovely to have you join in, hope to see you back again x

  6. I had to laugh at the putting up with mummy comment. I can see my little lady saying the same thing lol. It sounds like the baby is getting more active in the toddlers adventures, I can’t wait to see how these posts develop with bot of them

    Thanks for linking up with Small Steps Amazing Achievements :0)

  7. Jenny says:

    Hahah too funny… love the American politics tickled me. Thanks for linking up to Share With Me. Sorry to be late commenting we have my mother visiting from America. 🙂 Thanks for joining in. #sharewithme

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