Clocks and Snacks

clock-tower-143224_1920It has now been revealed (following a public incident of not ‘clock’ that was just too ridiculous not to mention) that The Toddler does not actually exactly say ‘clock’ when she’s saying ‘clock’. Well, in the interests of full disclosure, she doesn’t exactly say ‘snacks’ when she’s saying ‘snacks’, either.

Actually, in fairness, she’s started to get a bit more accurate in her pronunciation of ‘snacks’ over the past couple of weeks. Nonetheless, for a long time, The Toddler has not been saying ‘snacks’. She’s been saying, well, ‘sex’. Yes, that’s right: The Toddler has been innocently requesting ‘sex’ (raisin sex, usually) on a roughly hourly basis for months.

So, here are eight sentences The Toddler has been wandering around innocuously spouting. Please read all ‘clocks’ without the ‘l’, and all ‘snacks’ as ‘sex’.

1. In the bath (The Toddler has a foam clock bath toy): ‘That’s my clock up there! Can I have my clock? I play with my clock?’

2. ‘I want snacks! Want snacks now!’

3. Waving her watch around: ‘I wear my clock on now? Mummy, you put my clock on?’

4. ‘Mummy, can I have snacks in the pushchair?’

5. (The Toddler has a gro clock. Silly Daddy gave her the gro clock and showed her how to use it. The Toddler thinks of it as Silly Daddy’s clock, so you can see where this is going. The Toddler sometimes turns off all her plug switches when being naughty at nap time. This annoys Silly Daddy as the clock then needs resetting.) Discussing with Silly Mummy, post nap, whether she has been naughty with the plugs and clock: ‘Yes, I did turn off the clock. That’s Daddy’s clock!’

6. ‘Can The Baby have snacks too?’

7. When The Baby has run off with The Toddler’s watch: ‘That’s my clock, I think.’

8. Wailing: ‘Mummy, I want more snacks!’

Needless to say, there are no immediate plans to take The Toddler to see Big Ben. Particularly not whilst feeling a bit peckish. The mind boggles. (‘Why, yes, that is a big clock, darling.’)


(Disclaimer: Yes, sadly, this sort of thing makes us giggle in the Silly Household. Yes, we do need to grow up. Apologies to all whose sense of humour made it into more sophisticated territory than ‘fourteen year old boy’.)


  1. Brilliant. Brightened up a particularly dull train journey for me so thanks! Our little miss enjoys collecting sticks. All sticks are “my stick”. Except that she doesn’t say the “s”. And the “t” sounds more like a “d”. Hmmmf. Another fab post x #justanotherlinky

  2. Jenny Eaves says:

    Ha ha! My eldest was the same with clock, I remember being in the bank and him shouting out, look mummy, there’s a big c*ock! Of course I’m standing beside saying, yes, yes O that is a big CLOCK! Yes used to be ass as well… Not sure how number 2 is going to be with pronunciation when he finally decides to start talking! 🙂 x

  3. @alex_keno says:

    Love these posts – always make me giggle! My toddler groped a poor old man who was bending over to get something off a shelf in the supermarket today. I’ll take a mispronunciation over that any day!!

  4. El says:

    Hahaha, too funny! And the more you try to correct, the more they will shout those words in public! When you least expect it. Another law of the toddler. #justanotherlinky

  5. I recently got the baby some woodland dummies. My toddler decided he had a new difficulty with the word Fox. Passing his brother the dummy repeatedly through the day saying ‘foxy foxy foxy’ (only replace the ‘ox’ with a ‘uck’. Awkward at playgroup!

  6. Julie Downes says:

    Love toddlers innocent word mis-pronunciation though my 3 1/2 year has recently learnt to say ‘silly arse’ off her daddy, and saying ‘don’t say that’ just encourages her to say it more of course! #fartglitter

  7. Brilliant – love it when toddlers mispronounce words in a funny way and yes perhaps a trip to Big Ben when feeling peckish is not the best idea. Jessica used to say “fug” instead of “frog” – you can imagine how that sounded when out and about *still blushing at the memory of it all*

    Thanks for linking up to #ftmob 🙂

  8. haha this is very funny!! You are right , all the things that your kids say when they are learning new words are hilarious. I will be in that phase soon with number 2 so it will be interesting to see what things she comes up with!! Thanks so much for joining me at #KCACOLS. I would love if you join me again on Sunday! 🙂 xx

  9. Brilliant. My son used to love boobies (blueberries). And we went on a cruise and he really was saying Ship, it may have just sounded like something else. He also used to love going to the bitch to build sand castles! Thanks for linking up to #FridayFrolics. Hope to see you again next week.

  10. Love it. Me and my 4 year old shout “bottoms” and “winkles” at each other when we’re at home for our own entertainment. I intend to never grow out of such silliness and the double entendre is even funnier leaving the mouth of a toddler. Simply splendid post! #fridayfrolics

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