The Toddler has been watching new films. Mostly grudgingly, when Silly Mummy puts her foot down regarding the current Peppa Pig obsession.
Silly Mummy objects to Peppa Pig on a number of grounds. Firstly, There is only one season on Netflix. We are watching the same thirteen episodes repeatedly. Silly Mummy now suspects that this is where the superstitions surrounding the number thirteen actually originated: thirteen is unlucky if you are a parent with only one season of Peppa Pig.
Secondly, the theme tune. Oh, the theme tune! It haunts Silly Mummy’s dreams.
Thirdly, Peppa Pig sets a bad example. Splashing around in puddles constantly. Okay, probably not constantly. Constantly in this house (see complaint number one). Silly Mummy blames Peppa’s splashing for this demand from The Toddler during recent torrential rain: ‘Wellies on! Jump in puddle pool! Splash in puddle pool! Please, Mummy!’
Silly Mummy’s hair got wet, Peppa. Mummy Pig doesn’t have hair, does she, Peppa? Think you’d still be running about in the rain if she did, Peppa? No, you wouldn’t, Peppa.
Anyway, as Silly Mummy was saying, some films have also been watched. Therefore, welcome to the second edition of ‘guess what film The Toddler is talking about‘: the game you didn’t know you were playing. To keep things interesting/make things interesting/no, things are still not interesting, this time each clue is to a different film.
On with the game. Below are The Toddler’s insightful film reviews. Can you guess all the films? There will be a special commendation for anyone who can get number three. (Tip: You may want to think about the second half of films. The Toddler missed the first half of most of the films doing this: ‘No, don’t want this one! Want more Peppa Pig! More Peppa Pig, please! No, not watch this one! Turn it off! Want watch more Peppa Pig! Not this one!’)
1. ‘Yes, watch poo stinky.’
2. (The Toddler is dancing) Silly Mummy asks, ‘Are you being a monkey?’
‘No, not being a monkey…Look a mess! Make a mess!’
3. ‘Calm down, calm down.’
4. ‘Broomstick! Witch! Witch! The Toddler fly away! Ready steady go! Fly away! The Toddler can do it. The Toddler witch. Look: The Toddler has got a rabbit! Now The Toddler is doing something!’
5. ‘Wants to wear dressings. Wants to go to ball. Dance…[Name Removed]’s dress gone. Look! What’s wrong with [Name Removed]? Sad…Bib dob Bob dob doo!’
7. ‘No, not racing. Not doing racing. Doing circles.’
8. ‘No can’t watch doggy woof woof. Turn it off! Want watch more Peppa Pig!’
With such obvious descriptions, Silly Mummy is sure no one needs them, but here are the answers.
1. Winnie The Pooh
The Toddler apparently got the wrong end of the stick when Silly Mummy said, ‘Are you watching Winnie the Pooh?’
2. The Jungle Book
The Toddler tried to copy Louie’s dancing during I Wanna Be Like You, but she was not being a monkey, okay? The Toddler was also apparently concerned about all the mess Louie was making. Who’s going to clean that up? Baloo?
Rapunzel was crying. Obviously. What do you mean you didn’t get it?
4. Bedknobs and Broomsticks
Yes, the broomstick fishing rod came out. No, The Toddler did not magic any rabbits. But she was doing something.
Silly Mummy thought this one was quite a good description – and a fair rendition of Bibidi Babadi Bu – actually.
6. Monsters Inc
Because, you know, monsters roar.
7. Cars 2
They were not racing, they were just going in circles. Someone should employ The Toddler to commentate on Formula 1.
8. 101 Dalmatians
The Toddler only saw the first two minutes. She didn’t like it. It wasn’t Peppa Pig.