Hand in the Toilet (A ‘Hand in My Pocket’ Parody)

wc-265278_1920It is toddler parody time again – sorry about that. This time it is Alanis Morissette’s Hand in My Pocket.

I am crediting Gemma at Life Is Knutts with the inspiration for this one, as the idea to do this song came when I saw her parody of Ironic. Yes, Alanis, that’s right I’m crediting Gemma for the inspiration from your song, not you. Isn’t that ironic? Well, let’s face it, you don’t know, do you, Alanis? You have no idea if that’s ironic. (Ah, the ironic jokes never grow old. What’s that? They do? Shh!)


Hand in the Toilet

(By Toddler Morissette)

I’m crying but I’m happy
I’m sharing but it’s mine
I’m short but I’m climbing, yeah
I’m too high but I’m jumping off
I’m hungry but not eating that
I’m lost but still running, Mummy

And what it all comes down to
Is that everything’s going to be cleaned, cleaned, cleaned
Cause I’ve got one hand in the toilet
And the other one is pulling the cat’s tail

I’m violent but I’m cuddly
I’m young and I’m bossy
I’m tired but not sleeping, yeah
I care but I’m sulking
I’m hiding but I’m standing here
I’m wrong and not sorry, Mummy

And what it all comes down to
Is that everything’s gonna be quite a mess
Cause I’ve got one hand in the toilet
And the other one is flicking my sister

And what it all comes down to
Is that Mummy hasn’t got it all figured out just yet
Cause I’ve got one hand in the toilet
And the other one is throwing a cereal bowl

I’m drawing but it’s on the wall
I’m full but want choccy
I bite but I’m friendly, Mummy
I’m cold but I’m stripping off
I’m brave but there’s a monster
I’m sick but I’ll kiss you, Mummy

And what it all boils down to
Is that no mummy’s really got it figured out just yet
Cause I’ve got one hand in the toilet
And the other one is picking my nose

And what it all comes down to, my friends
Is that everything is just fine, fine, fine
Cause I’ve got one hand in the toilet
And the other one is hiding Mummy’s shoes


  1. I loved Gemma’s Alanis parody and I love this too! ‘I’m wrong and not sorry, Mummy’ is just spot on – I feel like this sums up my life some days lately! Thanks so much for linking up at #KCACOLS. Hope you come back again next Sunday

  2. I am with the above people who want you to do a video version, but knowing you the way I do, I doubt that will happen, unfortunately! Maybe the toddler can be convinced – I know she goes in for singing and general attention seeking! DO IT!
    x Alice

  3. I used to listen to Alanis Morrisette a lot – spesh when I was a student so I sang this in my head! Loved the bit about not having it all figured out and throwing a cereal bowl! loads of funny lyrics #fartglitter x

  4. LOVE THIS. This is just what I needed to read tonight after my daughter’s epic tantrum because I’d turned off the TV before dinner. The result? She ended up sitting in my lap in front of the TV while I spoon fed her (which she’s ever let me do) spag bol (I’m a vegetarian). So yeah…toddlers. #chucklemums

  5. Nailed it! This is fantastic. I will be singing it all day long, possibly not out loud as it might get a few strange looks in the supermarket but you know. šŸ˜‰ Thanks for linking with #fartglitter x

  6. I loved this! I think Alanis should consider releasing this version šŸ™‚ Only downside is I will now have the Ironic tune stuck in my head all day!
    Thanks for linking up to #AnythingGoes šŸ™‚

  7. I love this for 2 reasons: 1. Alanis Morrisette?? How. Long. Since. I was singing the tune as I read (embarrassing, it’s so late here…) and 2. The toddler-ness you’ve captured is bang on the nose. Question is, when does it stop?! My ‘toddler’ is now 3 and been toddler-ing herself for over 2 years. (At what point do I accept this is her personality?!)
    Thanks for a great laugh. #FridayFrolics

  8. I banged that oldy but goodie out so loud my son cried a little bit…love me some Alanis on a Friday arvo. I spend a lot of time near our toilet now…two bums (plus my own) to wipe and the only cleaner available it seems. Classic! #fridayfrolics

  9. Jane Taylor says:

    Loved this! I think I liked your one-sided conversation with Alanis the best…It really made me chuckle. Which is ironic because I suspect you were hoping the parody song would have me chuckling more.
    Thanks for sharing. #FridayFrolics

  10. Ha, ha I love this! Awesome parody. But what I love the best is how it shows that my insane toddler is not a one off and that in fact they are all just as barmy as each other šŸ˜‰ Thanks for sharing this on #MarvMondays. Emily

  11. The Pramshed says:

    This is just brilliant, I now have the songoing in my head. The toilet is so fascinating for children, my one year old is already trying to get her hand in it whenever she can. Pretty sure she’ll be trying to drink out of it soon. Thanks for linking up at #fortheloveofBLOG. Claire x

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