Hello, Dave. Is That Dave? *

Hello DaveApologies to anyone who didn’t watch The League of Gentlemen: this post may be less amusing without a background knowledge of Papa Lazarou. Though, actually, there will be some humour cross-over for Only Fools and Horses fans… Oh, who are we kidding? Television viewing preferences are irrelevant: we all know it is funny to call people Dave. Unless their name is Dave. It is true that the humour value of calling people Dave is reduced if their name is Dave.

So, as you may have guessed, The Toddler is calling people Dave. It was announced one morning: ‘Mummy’s Dave!’
‘Mummy’s Dave?’
‘Yes, Mummy’s Dave. The Baby’s Dave.’
‘The Baby’s Dave too?’
‘Yes! The Toddler’s Dave!’
‘You’re Dave? Is everyone Dave?’
‘Yes! Dave!’

There is a game that consists of calling random businesses and asking for Dave. The theory is that everyone works with a Dave. This may be so, but The Toddler prefers not to leave anything to chance. Everyone The Toddler works with is now Dave. Including The Toddler.

The Dave situation rapidly escalates. ‘Mummy’s Dave. The Baby’s Dave. The Toddler’s Dave. The cat is Dave!’ (The cat glares at The Toddler. The newly-named Dave The Cat is not happy.) Eventually, The Toddler’s transformation into Papa Lazarou is complete: Silly Mummy enters the room, The Toddler bounces over, ‘Hello, Dave!’ (Silly Mummy promptly wastes a good 15 minutes trying to teach a bemused toddler to say ‘you are my wife now’.)

Silly Mummy believes that the Dave episode is an important scientific discovery, proving the inherent comedy value of calling people Dave. The Toddler has never done this with any of the other names she knows. She has never seen ‘The League of Gentlemen’ or ‘Only Fools and Horses’. Yet she knew, instinctively, deep down in her soul, that it is just funny to call random people Dave. Silly Mummy is writing to the Editor of New Scientist as we speak: ‘Dear Dave…’

(*Quote attributable in part to The Toddler and in full to The League of Gentlemen)

You may also be interested in Batman Is Dave

Brilliant blog posts on HonestMum.comPost Comment Love
Brilliant blog posts on HonestMum.comPost Comment Love


  1. Anne says:

    My ex husbands name was Dave 😉
    I know why there are a lot of Dave’s, they like to call their sons Dave too, I have an uncle Dave and a cousin Dave with a son called Dave.
    My son is Craig! You have to break the mould.

    • Silly Mummy says:

      Ah, the Daves clearly have a master plan to populate the world with Daves. Only your Craig can stop them now – the one non-Dave in a sea of Daves! Thank you for reading!

  2. My husband is Dave just so you know so your toddler is right =P

    My son is like this in the last few days. Now he is 5 so he knows his name now is Sebastian and he calls himself Seb. And well I think he loves his name so much that all the business establishments are his.

    Sebway (subway)
    Secsaves (specssavers)
    Sebucks (starbucks)

    And well just about anything & everything is seb in our little world. Would love your Dave to visit us some time =P


    • Silly Mummy says:

      Oh bless him! Does he do nice lattes in Sebucks? Dave The Toddler likes to assume that random words she sees are her name: she knows the word on her door is her name, why wouldn’t other words be too??

  3. Alice says:

    I call my husband Dave when he isn’t listening to me. I do this in a Papa Lazarou voice. “Hello Dave? Is Dave there?” His name is Chris. My son finds this incomprehensible as only he is able to be weird; the rest of us are expected to be sensible.

    • Silly Mummy says:

      Oh, obviously – The Toddler likes to yell, ‘No, Mummy, Nooooo!’ when she feels that I am being unacceptably silly. Usually, I am being unacceptably silly by doing whatever she was doing moments before. I love Papa Lazarou. All I’m saying is that if Dave (Chris) finds that he is your wife now, that will be his own fault for not listening!

    • Silly Mummy says:

      I’m telling you, it is the done thing – calling random people Dave! There is usually a Dave &, if there isn’t, you make a Dave. We all do it! Thanks for reading.

  4. Kimmie says:

    I haven’t watched ‘The League of Gentlemen’…however that didn’t make this read any less funny… You are funny, your toddler is funny, heck; even the cat is funny… great post, as always… I enjoy the smiles and chuckles I find here 🙂

    • Silly Mummy says:

      Thank you so much – lovely comment! The Toddler is hilarious – I just report on her comedy genius! 🙂 Glad we make you smile & thank you for reading!

  5. Bek says:

    This made me giggle! We often call people Dave, although my Dad is actually called Dave! You are right, there are a lot of Daves. We still often quote League of Gentlemen with the ‘You’re my wife now’ as well as ‘twelvety’. Great post 🙂

    • Silly Mummy says:

      Thank you for reading! Oh, I forgot ‘twelvty’! I still quote ‘don’t touch the precious things of the shop’ a lot too.

    • Silly Mummy says:

      You are the one Dave-less person out there! If you don’t know any Daves, you should immediately create a Dave – that is the lesson being taught here. No idea where she came up with it being funny to call everyone Dave! Thanks for reading!

    • Silly Mummy says:

      Thank you for reading. Those are all amazing cat names. I think such amazing names calls for three cats, in fact! Standing at the door, shaking cat food, calling ‘Here, Dave, Derek & Barry! Good kitties!’ needs to be done!

  6. This made me laugh, my husband is a Dave, with a best friend called Dave too. Their phone conversations go like this: “Hi Dave, it’s Dave”… makes me laugh everytime!

    Glad that your daughter has learnt this valuable life lesson of calling people Dave, regardless of whether they are called Dave.


    • Silly Mummy says:

      ‘Hi Dave, it’s Dave’ – brilliant! I do consider random daving to be one of the vital life skills -she is well equipped! Thanks for reading!

  7. martyn says:

    Haha brilliant!! I use to love that show!! Very funny
    Although it might be scary hearing a toddler going “hello dave” in the exact voice…If they worked on it?! Thanks for linking up with us on the #bigfatlinky hope to see you there this week

    • Silly Mummy says:

      Yeah it will be scary if she does the voice – & I really would wonder where she got that from! Thanks for hosting!

    • Silly Mummy says:

      Bob was my family one as a child – my sister called everyone Bob, especially me. My sister still calls me Bob. I am Dave or Bob, depending whether you ask The Toddler or The Sister!

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