How (Not) to Make an Easter Nest With Toddlers

EasternestFollowing on from my Christmas tutorial on how (not) to make Christmas cards with toddlers, I present these detailed instructions for making a chocolate covered Easter mess, sorry, nest.

I guarantee that, as long as you exactly follow these directions, you will be able to achieve complete chocolate coverage of all participants – and the floor – and at least one person crying at some point. I do not guarantee that you will achieve the production of an Easter nest.

 
 
What you need:

Two toddlers of varying ages
Rice Krispies
Cooking chocolate
Mini eggs
Small decorative Easter chicks
A bowl
A wooden spoon
A plate
A mess mat for the floor
Copious amounts of wipes
Six hands
Eyes in the back of your head
To have lost your mind

 
 
What to do:

1. Break up the chocolate. Give a strip each to the toddlers, and show them how to break it into pieces. If done correctly, the biggest toddler will make valiant attempts with two outcomes. Firstly, her hands will be covered in sticky chocolate. Secondly, you will realise that this is not an ideal activity for toddlers (chocolate squares are actually quite hard to break). The strip actually getting broken into pieces is not an outcome you will see. Meanwhile, you should be observing the littlest toddler attempting to ram the strip of chocolate into her mouth. Remove the chocolate from both toddlers.

2. Clean both toddlers’ hands.

3. Clean the littlest toddler’s mouth.

4. Give the biggest toddler a piece of the chocolate because she has just realised that the littlest toddler was eating it, not breaking it, and she feels she has missed out.

5. Break the chocolate into pieces yourself.

6. Explain that the chocolate needs to be melted by Mummy now.

7. Remember how long it takes to melt chocolate (without burning it).

8. Remember how little patience toddlers have.

9. Answer three million questions about whether the chocolate is melted yet. These should all be from the biggest toddler. You should by now have lost the littlest toddler. She is no longer interested. She wants a yoghurt.

10. Give littlest toddler a yoghurt. The biggest toddler should demand a yoghurt too. At this point, you should find that the chocolate is finally nearly melted. Explain to the biggest toddler that the Rice Krispies will need to be stirred into the chocolate as soon as it is ready, before it sets again, and therefore she needs to wait and have a yoghurt afterwards (because the chocolate is nearly ready). Answer further questions about when the chocolate will be ready (it’s nearly ready). Answer bonus questions about why the little one gets to have a yoghurt (she is no longer playing the baking game).

11. Bring out the bowl of now melted chocolate. At this point, the littlest toddler should remember that this activity is edible and decide that she is playing again.

12. Allow the biggest toddler to pour some Rice Krispies into the bowl. Realise that this was a bad idea.

13. Stop the littlest toddler from sticking the spoon from her now abandoned yoghurt into the bowl.

14. Give the biggest toddler the wooden spoon and tell her to stir in the Rice Krispies.

15. Explain to the biggest toddler that ‘stirring’ does not mean whacking the mixture, splattering Rice Krispies and melted chocolate far and wide.

16. Give the littlest toddler a turn at stirring.

17. Explain to the littlest toddler that ‘stirring’ does not mean whacking the mixture, splattering Rice Krispies and melted chocolate far and wide, even if that’s what her sister did.

18. Do some stirring yourself so that Rice Krispies actually get covered in chocolate.

19. Let the biggest toddler pour some more Rice Krispies into the mix. Realise that this is not becoming a better idea.

20. Remove the littlest toddler’s hands from the mixture.

21. Tell the littlest toddler not to touch anything, thus ensuring she touches everything in sight.

22. Tell the littlest toddler not to move, thus ensuring she runs through the splattered chocolate from earlier, covering the bottom of her tights.

23. Tell the biggest toddler to put down the Rice Krispies and wait.

24. Tell the littlest toddler not to step off the mat.

25. The littlest toddler should decide that this challenge is accepted.

26. Chase the littlest toddler across the floor. Wrestle her out of her tights and forcibly wipe her hands.

27. Tell the biggest toddler to put down the Rice Krispies and wait.

28. Clean chocolate off the floor.

29. Tell the biggest toddler that she can now pour more Rice Krispies. Regret this decision.

30. Give up all attempts to get the toddlers to stir. Stir the mixture yourself, whilst trying to prevent the biggest toddler from adding more Rice Krispies, and the littlest toddler from eating the mixture.

31. Tip the finished mixture onto a plate, explaining that it needs to be shaped into a nest.

32. Encourage the biggest toddler to help shape the mixture with the spoon. Explain that this does not mean whack the mixture with the spoon.

33. Encourage the littlest toddler not to help shape the mixture with her hands. Or her mouth.

34. Encourage the biggest toddler not to follow her little sister in trying to shape the nest/shovel the nest into her mouth with her hands.

35. Shape the nest as quickly as possible yourself, whilst yelling at two chocolate coated toddlers not to move at all, and under no circumstances to leave the mat.

36. Leave the finished nest and fetch wipes.

37. Notice both toddlers lunging for the nest.

38. Rescue nest and take it to the fridge, whilst repeating shouted instructions to the toddlers not to move at all.

39. Return to the toddlers, and attack the littlest toddler with wipes.

40. Having cleaned the littlest toddler, start on the biggest toddler.

41. Once the biggest toddler is clean, remember that the littlest toddler had earlier abandoned a half eaten pot of yoghurt. Approach the now yoghurt covered littlest toddler with more wipes.

42. Explain that the nest needs to set in the fridge for a few hours before the toddlers can fill it with mini eggs and chicks.

43. Clean everything in the vicinity, whilst answering repeated questions about whether the nest is set yet.

44. There should now follow several hours of questions about whether the nest has set yet, after which the nest will be ready for decorating. This should cause great excitement among the toddlers, who believe that ‘decorating’ is another word for ‘eating’.

45. Take the mini eggs, and give some to each toddler to put into the nest. Tell the biggest toddler to put the eggs into the nest, not her mouth. Tell the littlest toddler to put the eggs into the nest, not her mouth.

46. Once all the eggs are in the nest, give the little chicks to the toddlers to sit among the eggs.

47. Rearrange the upside down, thrown and face-planted chicks so that they are sitting among the eggs.

48. As you all survey the finished nest, resplendent with eggs and Easter chicks, realise that the toddlers are not very clear on what a nest is. Or what Easter is. Or what chicks are (though they are experts on ‘bird’, ‘duck’ and ‘penguin’).

49. Note that the toddlers are clear on what ‘made of chocolate’ is, and that their excitement is therefore not remotely diminished by the fact that they have no clue what they just made or why.

50. Take a picture of the nest to prove it existed. (Not for Pinterest, obviously: these instructions are not for people who can Pinterest. These are for people who can Buzzfeed. In the ‘Pinterest Fails’ section.)

 
 
BritMumsI am very excited to have been shortlisted in the ‘Writer’ category in the BiB Awards. If you’ve heard of my blog, like my blog, don’t want to vote for someone else in my category, aren’t sick of people asking, and have a minute to spare, I would love your vote! You can vote here.

 
 

Life, Love and Dirty Dishes

74 comments

  1. Kimmie says:

    I have been in messes (with Toddlers) that are so similar to this mess, it could be my mess. Enjoy the nest… assuming the Toddlers are sharing 😉

  2. Ha ha I made banana loaf for the first time today… First time baking ever actually and it was much the same. You see all these pics of lovely mum and toddlers baking together (in guilty of putting one on today!) but there must be a horror story behind each one! X

  3. Yvonne says:

    You should do a recipe book! I would buy it.. I laughed out loud at this because this is exactly how all baking activities work out in our house too. Of course I am sure to Instagram the ‘good’ photos to give off the impression of a happy, fun time 🙂 #bloggerclubuk x

    • Silly Mummy says:

      It would be a very limited recipe book – of things requiring no cooking, that are only made for holidays when I feel like I really should make an effort!

  4. Idaintyit says:

    Hahaha I love reading this, had a big smile on my face the whole way through. I definitely know the feeling of repeating yourself for toddlers to stay where they are!

  5. Okay, I’m officially scared now. I am never going into the kitchen with any toddler. Thank goodness mine are all grown up now. #KCACOLS …I think it would be easier just to eat it.

  6. Kat says:

    Agree with above comment, or below, I don’t know where this one will end up! But do a recipe book exactly like this, I’d buy it for laughs! I love your writing so much. So realistic to life and trying to cook with children! #kcacols

  7. Hilarious as always! A very comprehensive list of instructions. Anyone could be guaranteed a lack of chocolate nests and a kitchen and toddlers covered in chocolate by following this! 😂 PS nominated you for a writing BiB ☺

    • Silly Mummy says:

      Thank you so much! & I’m very glad no one would be disappointed by a lack of utter chaos in following these instructions!

  8. Emma says:

    Haha, spot on as always. I always get ideas about baking with my two after looking at lovely artful picutres of mummies and toddlers baking on instagram. Mine never comes out like those pictures. Never. Ever. My pictures would resemble a rice crispy monster spewing all over my kitchen floor and worktops *sigh* #kcacols

    • Silly Mummy says:

      Yes, never get ideas from instagram – it never ends well! Though maybe the trick is pretending that you set out to make a rice krispie monster?

  9. Saffy says:

    Haha, this is why I bake in secret. So I can ram the end products in my mouth with both hands,,,no, wait, I mean make pintrest-worthy creations. No, that’s still not true…ok I just don’t bake. I buy it from the shop and then put it on a plate and hide the packaging at the bottom of the recycling and pretend I made it myself. And eat it with both hands. #kcacols

    • Silly Mummy says:

      Thank you! You have to love that these kids are quite willing to go along with these activities, with no clue what is going on, because they have seen there is chocolate!

  10. Emma says:

    Very very true!
    I love how Pinterest gives you this illusion that cooking is amazing with toddlers – when in reality it’s often a huge mess! #anythinggoes

  11. Kerry says:

    This made me chuckle, the reality of trying to bake or create anything with toddlers! I don’t know what I’d do without a trusty pack of baby wipes in my kitchen #MarvMondays

  12. wendy says:

    Love this! A very accurate account of what it is like to bake with toddlers. I always think baking will be a fun thing for me and my boy to do, it always ends in a disaster! Xx #anythinggoes

  13. Hee hee very funny, because it’s TRUE! My littlest commented “Mummy, I thought WE were actually supposed to be doing the baking” when I last had a “Let’s bake something” moment of madness, then saw sense and completely took over to save me from having a nervous breakdown 🙂 #bigpinklink

  14. Haha yes this is so true, I never understand how baking with toddlers can be enjoyable. I always think it will be, start and then remember why I don’t do it that often. It looks lovely though! Thanks for linking to #PickNMix

  15. Maria says:

    I LOVE this!! It’s so true and much better than all the Pinterest perfect ones out there! The nest looks great too even if it was a bit stressful to make!

    Thank you for linking up to #KCACOLS and I hope to see you back again on 2nd April when the linky opens again Xx

  16. Mama Zen says:

    *eats 8 rice crispie cakes and a bag of mini eggs (shop bought)* to recover from reading about baking with toddlers let alone actually baking with toddlers ….very funny! #bigpinklink

  17. Haha!! Brilliant! You do make me laugh!! This is exactly how any kind of cooking/baking activity goes down! I’ve now taken to only allowing such activities when the smallest toddler is in bed, as the eldest toddler can just about ‘assist’ without making me want to tear my hair out! *sighs* I used to have so many romantic visions about baking with my children…!
    Thanks for sharing this with #bigpinklink!

  18. Christie says:

    But it’s so cute to involved toddlers in your baking experiences and it’s a great activity for them as well! Lies! All lies!!! This was hilarious, thank you!

  19. Wipes… the parent saviour for all messes! I remember deciding to make nests with my 2 in a hostel in Sweden last easter as a treat for them being good all day. Oh. My. God. There was chocolate up the walls and little trails of fingerprints in the bathroom. Never again. Anywhere. Ever. Easter nests are banned.

  20. ShoeboxofM says:

    I love Pintrest Nailed Its! It’s what we make and it’s a way to soothe the pain of inevitable failure.

    We had a similar experience with our nests with my son just eating spoonfuls of molten chocolate and the cornflakes getting pounded into dust while being mixed!

    #abitofeverything
    #AnythingGoes

  21. Thankyou Thankyou Thankyou! I see so many posts and videos about baking with little ones and think, it never goes like that in my house. This is far more realistic. I was laughing and nodding with every point. Oh my god the questions!!!! Loved this post. Thanks for linking up to #FridayFrolics

  22. Great! Made me chuckle as I have just bought the ingredients to make little chocolate nests tomorrow with my 2yr old …. might be rethinking that one and doing it myself tonight!! 🙂

    #brillblogposts

  23. Karen says:

    very amusing! I love the fact that little one eats the chocolate while the big one is oblivious! When realising wants some extra! Hope you had lots of chocolate in to make the nest! Should have extra chocolate required… And no where you mention that you get to eat the chocolate too??? Surely that is the main reason for going to this ? #BloggerClubUK

  24. Right I will bear all of this in mind as I making these tomorrow. I only have 1 toddler but I still think there will be no mixture left by the time we shape the nests!!! haha. Have a happy Easter hun and thanks for sharing with #bestandworst x

  25. Ha ha ha! Thank you, after reading this I will definitely not attempt any chocolate-related activities with my toddler this Easter and Will not feel bad about it! In the past few days we’ve done painting and glueing and that’s quite enough for me. #TwinklyTuesday

  26. I know rice crispie cakes are really easy to make with a toddler but I just find it too stressful still!! He can’t go 5 minutes without trying to eat the chocolate/rice crispies/mini eggs and getting him to stir the mixture…..jeeeeeeez!!!! I definitely didn’t make them by myself last year and pass them off as his creations 😉 #bestandworst

  27. I’m a bit late to this post from #KCACOLS but I’m glad I am because this has described my day today. Cornflake nests. Never again. Chocolate in the hallway, cornflakes over the entire kitchen. Numerous mini-eggs lost in the toddler, most of the rest licked by the toddler. Mother when attempting not to gag (not out of those woods yet) was concerned a stress related hernia might happen and. Kitchen window closed in case the neighbours heard the shouting ‘NOOOO, THAT CHOCOLATE IS HOT, YOU CANNOT THROW THE SPATULA THAT YOU HAVE JUST LICKED INTO IT’ AND WAVE IT AROUND YOUR HEAD’ etc. Suffice to say I enjoyed this post very much x

  28. Ha, ha! This sounds about right. It pretty much sums up what my experience would be if I attempted this activity with our little one. I think the most surprising this of all though, was just how many steps there are – I felt exhausted and like I needed a cup of tea and choc nest by the time I got to the end of it 😉 Emily Thanks for linking up to #MarvMondays

  29. LOL this is brilliant! finally a realistic step by step on how cooking with children actually goes! It really does make a simple task challenging. If one has something the other has to & if one gets to do something they other has to also. I hear ya! I think the pinterest fails are much more fun to see than the perfect creations! Thanks so much for linking up with us! #bloggerclubuk

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