It has come to my attention that many nursery rhymes seem to have a common – somewhat disturbing – theme, but they’re trying to be subtle about it. So I’ve fixed that for them.

 
 
 
Rock-a-bye Baby

Rock-a-bye baby, in the treetop
When the wind blows, the cradle will rock
When the bough breaks, the cradle will fall
And down will come baby, dead and all

 
Jack and Jill

Jack and Jill went up the hill to fetch a pail of water
Jack fell down and died
And Jill came tumbling after…and also died

 
Humpty Dumpty

Humpty Dumpty sat on a wall
Humpty Dumpty had a great fall
All the king’s horses and all the king’s men
Couldn’t put Humpty together again
Humpty was dead

 
It’s Raining, It’s Pouring

It’s raining, it’s pouring
The old man is snoring
He went to bed and bumped his head
And couldn’t get up in the morning
Because he was dead…like Humpty

 
Old Mother Hubbard

Old Mother Hubbard
Went to the cupboard
To get her poor doggie a bone
When she got there
The cupboard was bare
And so the poor doggie had none
And died

 
Ring-a-ring O’ Roses

Ring-a-ring o’ roses
A pocket full of posies
A-tishoo! A-tishoo!
We all fall down dead

 
Peter Peter Pumpkin-eater

Peter Peter pumpkin-eater
Had a wife and couldn’t keep her
He murderered her and put her body in a pumpkin shell
And there he kept her very well…until his arrest

 
 
Thank god for The Old Lady Who Swallowed a Fly and Oranges and Lemons, which are at least blatant about the dead, they’re all dead aspect.