I’m So Busy: The Ten Funniest Things The Toddler Said Last Week

It’s Ten Funniest Things time, where frankly it is a miracle The Toddler has turned up at all: she’s so busy.

Nonetheless, here she is:

1. On needing to be on the naughty step
The Toddler has pushed over The Baby (who is now on her bottom, looking mildly confused about how she got there). Silly Mummy tells The Toddler it is naughty to push The Baby, even when you’re playing, and she needs to say sorry or she will have to sit on the naughty step. The Toddler dutifully apologises, and gives The Baby a kiss. Silly Mummy tells her to remember not to push The Baby again because next time she will have to go straight to the naughty step. The Toddler is disappointed by the lenience she has been shown. She feels she needs a hard line on punishment: ‘No, I need to go on naughty step now.’ Off she goes. To sit herself on the naughty step. She reappears when she has suitably punished herself.

2. On her make up, finishing it
Mornings are a busy time for The Toddler. She marches over to the coffee table: ‘I finish my make up.’ (It should be noted that at no point did she start her make up. She is jumping right in with finishing the make up. It should also be noted that she doesn’t have any make up.) The Toddler has forgotten something: ‘I say bye bye Daddy first before I finish my make up.’ Silly Daddy dismissed, The Toddler returns to putting on her make up. Which appears to involve moving soft building blocks from the floor to the coffee table. The Baby wanders over and sits down in all the building blocks. The Toddler is scandalised: ‘My make up! The Baby, you’re on my make up!’

3. On herself, so busy
The Toddler has been told to apologise to The Baby for aggressively snatching from her (The Toddler’s sisterly skills appear to have been questionable this week). Unfortunately, The Toddler, who is lining up a tea set, is having some scheduling issues: ‘I’m too busy. I’m going to say sorry. I’m so busy. Say sorry in a second.’ (In a complete disciplinary fail, Silly Mummy falls about laughing at this point, instead of enforcing the apology. Oops.)

4. On taking photographs, the wrong way
The Toddler has Silly Mummy’s phone, and she is taking pictures: ‘I do photo. Oops, I did it wrong way! I did button wrong way, didn’t I?’ This could indicate anything from turning on the front camera and photographing herself, to inadvertently calling for an ambulance.

5. On the cheese, looking at it
The Toddler asks Silly Mummy, ‘Do you want to look at the cheese now?’ She has not organised an inspection of the cheddar. She wants to show Silly Mummy the photographs she has taken/ambulance she has called on Silly Mummy’s phone (‘say cheese’, you see).

6. On the dog, not allowed to wake up
The Toddler is at Grandma and Pop’s house. Grandma and Pop’s dog has been sleeping under the table, but is now getting up. She has not obtained the appropriate permissions from The Toddler for this behaviour, and The Toddler puts an immediate stop to it: ‘Dog, go back to sleep! Now!’

7. On being a bit older
The Toddler has wandered over to a box of toys and is staring at it contemplatively. She has reached a conclusion: ‘I’m a bit older.’ It is unclear whether she is a bit older than she was last time she played with the toys (about an hour ago), or a bit older than the toys and asserting her authority over them, or simply philosophising.

8. On dressing gowns, lovely
The Toddler is feeling very complimentary towards Silly Mummy: ‘Your dressing gown has spots on there. It’s lovely.’

9. On wands
The Toddler has a wand (well, a drumstick), and she is using it to put a spell on a troll on the TV. She is not letting the fact that she has forgotten both the word ‘spell’ and the word ‘wand’ stand in her way: ‘I shoo it away with my witch!’

10. On The Baby, book related behaviour
The Toddler has one of Silly Mummy’s books. The Toddler no longer tries to eat or rip books, and can be trusted with paper books. The Baby cannot be trusted. The Toddler knows this. However, she would like The Baby to join her for a bit of pretend reading. She gives The Baby very clear instructions as to the expected standard of behaviour for this activity: ‘The Baby, you come and read this? We’re not going to eat it, The Baby, just read it. You come here and read it with me. Don’t eat.’

Some other posts in the ‘Ten Funniest Things The Toddler Said Last Week’ feature
Week 5: Don’t Do It
Week 12: Undone, Everyone
Week 13: I’m Not a Hufflepuff
Week 16: Ooh I Say
Super Busy MumLet's Talk MommyBest of WorstDomesticated MomsterPost Comment Love
Super Busy MumLet's Talk MommyBest of WorstDomesticated MomsterPost Comment Love
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  1. rebecca says:

    I love it. It sounds like The Toddler is getting the hang of looking after The Baby, perhaps she can start telling The Baby to go back to sleep too, giving you a break! So cute ๐Ÿ™‚ #bestandworst

  2. Love the ‘I’m a bit older’ comment. So cute. Our 3 yo is obsessed with the concept of time, anything in the past whether last year or 5 minutes ago is ‘yesterday’, and she must ask every day if she is 4 yet (‘If I eat all my dinner I’ll grow – will I be 4 then?.’…) x MMT #bestandworst

  3. Emma says:

    These are wonderful! I especially like the one about the makeup and the baby sitting in the makeup! Thoroughly looking forward to similar funny moments from my own little one!

  4. Michelle says:

    I’ve laughed at my kids too while trying to correct them. I think we all do that from time to time when they say something that just makes us laugh! Great post! visiting from #momsterlink

  5. Jenny says:

    I love the mind of a toddler and all they come out with it’s brilliant. The makeup one is my fave. Finishing before she even started. ๐Ÿ™‚ Thank you so much for linking up to Share With Me #sharewithme

  6. I always love reading about the things that The Toddler says – she is just so funny and her antics make me laugh. Love her taking herself to the naughty step and then later being “too busy” to say sorry, finishing her make-up and being appalled at The Baby deciding to sit in her “make up” and shooing away the troll with her witch. “Do you want to look at the cheese?” is such an adorable way to ask if you want to look at photos. Thanks for sharing these with #ftmob ๐Ÿ™‚

  7. Oh I just loved this post!! The toddler is simply hilarious and having a four year old and one year old myself i could sooooooo relate with all of the above!! A brilliant and entertaining read, my first time to come across your blog but one i certainly will be watching out for from now on!

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