In this week’s edition of the Ten Funniest Things feature, we will be unimpressed by firework show offs, unconvinced by the shopping basket’s attempts to be a baseball kit, and wondering what on earth The Baby thinks is happening.
Over to The Toddler:
1. On shopping baskets, not good baseball kits
The Toddler is holding her toy shopping basket when suddenly she announces, ‘I don’t think it’s a baseball kit. Think it might be shopping basket.’ Silly Mummy thinks she may have a point, but was unaware the shopping basket had been suspected of being a baseball kit. A couple of minutes later The Toddler declares, ‘I’m not very well.’
Silly Mummy asks, ‘What’s the matter?’
The Toddler holds up her shopping basket: ‘This baseball kit’s not very good.’
2. On drawing, strange requests
The Toddler is doing some colouring. She requires Silly Mummy’s help: ‘Can you draw my trumps?’ A quick investigation reveals that there is a trumpet on The Toddler’s picture that she would like Silly Mummy to colour in. This is a relief, as Silly Mummy was not feeling equal to the task of trying to draw The Toddler’s trumps.
3. On bruises, wash off
Silly Mummy is inspecting a bruise that has been found on The Toddler’s foot. The Toddler is unconcerned: ‘Don’t worry about it. We’ll give it a wash.’
4. On long days
The Toddler leads a busy life, and sometimes she feels it: ‘It’s been a long day, hasn’t it? Long day after walk.’
5. On stickers
The Toddler is doing her sticker book, an activity that seems to be a source of a surprising level of wonder today: ‘My goodness! Look at those!’
6. On being a witch
The Toddler has put her (cylindrical) Lego storage container on her head. It falls right down over her face. Her little voice emanates from within, providing very matter of fact clarification of the situation: ‘So…I’m a witch.’
7. On Rapunzel
The Toddler is watching Tangled. Rapunzel is in a pickle, and The Toddler is wondering how she will ever get out of it. She very thoughtfully says, ‘What is she to do?’
8. On being a Bond villain
The Toddler is asking Silly Mummy for something, but Silly Mummy can’t hear her from the other room. Silly Mummy comes into the living room: ‘What were you asking for?’
Apparently, The Toddler has forgotten. She replies, ‘I don’t know. Let me see.’ Whilst stroking her face in her best Bond villain impersonation.
9. On fireworks, showing off
The Sillies are attending a firework display. The Toddler remains unsure how she feels about fireworks. In an effort to convince her, Silly Daddy points at one of the squiggly ones: ‘Isn’t that pretty?’
The Toddler feels that the fireworks are frankly showing off: ‘A bit much.’
10. On running without purpose*
The Toddler is repeatedly running from one end of the room to the other, for no apparent reason. The Baby is waddling about in her wake, trying to keep up. Silly Mummy asks, ‘Why are you running, The Toddler?’
The Toddler pants, ‘I don’t know!’ Well, of course not. Why would she?
Raising some questions about what exactly she thinks is going on, The Baby yells, ‘Where’s duck?’