My Goodness: The Ten Funniest Things The Toddler Said Last Week

In this week’s edition of the Ten Funniest Things feature, we will be unimpressed by firework show offs, unconvinced by the shopping basket’s attempts to be a baseball kit, and wondering what on earth The Baby thinks is happening.

Over to The Toddler:

1. On shopping baskets, not good baseball kits
The Toddler is holding her toy shopping basket when suddenly she announces, ‘I don’t think it’s a baseball kit. Think it might be shopping basket.’ Silly Mummy thinks she may have a point, but was unaware the shopping basket had been suspected of being a baseball kit. A couple of minutes later The Toddler declares, ‘I’m not very well.’
Silly Mummy asks, ‘What’s the matter?’
The Toddler holds up her shopping basket: ‘This baseball kit’s not very good.’

2. On drawing, strange requests
The Toddler is doing some colouring. She requires Silly Mummy’s help: ‘Can you draw my trumps?’ A quick investigation reveals that there is a trumpet on The Toddler’s picture that she would like Silly Mummy to colour in. This is a relief, as Silly Mummy was not feeling equal to the task of trying to draw The Toddler’s trumps.

3. On bruises, wash off
Silly Mummy is inspecting a bruise that has been found on The Toddler’s foot. The Toddler is unconcerned: ‘Don’t worry about it. We’ll give it a wash.’

4. On long days
The Toddler leads a busy life, and sometimes she feels it: ‘It’s been a long day, hasn’t it? Long day after walk.’

5. On stickers
The Toddler is doing her sticker book, an activity that seems to be a source of a surprising level of wonder today: ‘My goodness! Look at those!’

6. On being a witch
The Toddler has put her (cylindrical) Lego storage container on her head. It falls right down over her face. Her little voice emanates from within, providing very matter of fact clarification of the situation: ‘So…I’m a witch.’

7. On Rapunzel
The Toddler is watching Tangled. Rapunzel is in a pickle, and The Toddler is wondering how she will ever get out of it. She very thoughtfully says, ‘What is she to do?’

8. On being a Bond villain
The Toddler is asking Silly Mummy for something, but Silly Mummy can’t hear her from the other room. Silly Mummy comes into the living room: ‘What were you asking for?’
Apparently, The Toddler has forgotten. She replies, ‘I don’t know. Let me see.’ Whilst stroking her face in her best Bond villain impersonation.

9. On fireworks, showing off
The Sillies are attending a firework display. The Toddler remains unsure how she feels about fireworks. In an effort to convince her, Silly Daddy points at one of the squiggly ones: ‘Isn’t that pretty?’
The Toddler feels that the fireworks are frankly showing off: ‘A bit much.’

10. On running without purpose*
The Toddler is repeatedly running from one end of the room to the other, for no apparent reason. The Baby is waddling about in her wake, trying to keep up. Silly Mummy asks, ‘Why are you running, The Toddler?’
The Toddler pants, ‘I don’t know!’ Well, of course not. Why would she?
Raising some questions about what exactly she thinks is going on, The Baby yells, ‘Where’s duck?’

(*Incidentally, this is The Toddler’s Native American name.)


Some other posts in the ‘Ten Funniest Things The Toddler Said Last Week’ feature
Week 5: Don’t Do It
Week 18: A Spinny Armpits
Week 20: You’re a Good Winner
Week 23: I Resent to You


  1. Lara says:

    Very funny. Toddlers have a logic all of their own. My son’s favourite expressions of the moment are: “Mummy, what are you actually doing?!” and “Fine, fine, whatever!” Very threenagerish! #thelist

  2. I love the one about it being a long day, just shows they pick up the phrases we use! I like the one about the firework being a show off too. And got to love the cameo from The Baby, good to know she still hasn’t forgotten her duck obsession lol 🙂 #TheList

  3. Oh there are some VERY recognisable ones in this for me. The random running…WHY are you running up and down the landing!? Although we don’t get ducks from anyone. Yet. And the little phrase ‘my goodness, look at those!’. So sweet. Today I am cordially visiting from #sharethejoy. Can you ‘cordially’ visit? I don’t know. I am though x

  4. Stephanie says:

    It definitely sounds all go there! And sometimes they can say the oddest things, but sometimes there’s some wiseness- I mean fireworks are just showing off aren’t they!!! #sharethejoy

  5. Loving the toddler she makes me giggle! Why would you need an excuse for running round the house? A question we asked my niece who is similar age the other day and all she said was ‘coz! #KCACOLS

  6. What a fantastic name, I think ours might be something like that too when the witching hour appears. I do love reading these posts. I wonder what the toddler will make of them when she is older.

    Thanks for linking up with Small Steps Amazing Achievements :0)

  7. arthurwears says:

    I particularly liked number 2 – which reminded me of being small and asking my parents how to draw a trump. They told me to have a go myself – i drew a rectangle with zigzag edges and coloured it in brown…..and a hiccup was a purple oval! #fartglitter

  8. Mum in Brum says:

    Haha, this made me chuckle a lot! I’m secretly looking forward to the toddler days so that I can laugh at at what’s going on in her head! I’m still wondering how you would draw a trump…I think I’ve got it figured out! Love that the fireworks were just ‘a bit much’ hilarious. I’ve only recently come across your blog but your posts always make me laugh so will definitely be visiting more often for all I have to look forward to! Thanks so much for linking up to #KCACOLS. Hope you come again next Sunday x

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