On Wednesdays, We Check for Nits

Life once your kid starts school expressed in film quotes.

1. Mean Mummies

‘On Wednesdays, we check for nits.’

2. The Parking Games

‘May the odds of finding a space within 10 miles of the school be ever in your favour.’

3. Sulkiator

‘My name is Maximus Schoolius Starterius, Commander of the Armies of the Tantrum, General of the Sulky Legions and loyal servant to the art of foot dragging. Sister to a toddler who doesn’t have to go to school, daughter to a mother who doesn’t have to go to school. And I will have my vengeance, in this life or the next.’

4. (School Run) A Team

‘I love it when a plan comes together. Probably. I’ll let you know if it ever happens.’

5. (Getting Kids Into School) Role Models

‘Oh boy, classic case of kid on the ground.’

6. School Run of Dreams

‘If you bribe them, they will come.’

7. Taxi Mummy

(*Mummy to herself in the car*) ‘You talkin’ to me? You talkin’ to me? You talkin’ to me? Then who the hell else are you talking… you talking to me? Well I’m the only one bloody listening.’

8. Notting Hill Mummy

‘I’m just a mummy, standing in front of a kid, asking her to put on her damn shoes.’

9. Peppa Pig Now

(*Toddler brandishing remote*) ‘I love the smell of Peppa in the morning. Smells like…victory.’

10. The Sixth Attempt to Leave the House

‘I see slow people. Walking around like regular people. They don’t see each other. They only see what they want to see. They don’t know they’re slow.’

*The films: 1)Mean Girls; 2)The Hunger Games; 3)Gladiator; 4)The A Team; 5)Role Models; 6)Field of Dreams; 7)Taxi Driver; 8)Notting Hill; 9)Apocalypse Now; 10)The Sixth Sense


  1. @MumMalarkey says:

    LOVE it! Particularly the Sulkiator! And my toddler is also insufferably smug when she wins the 6am TV battle and ‘Blaze and the Monster Machines’ starts blaring out… #FridayFrolics

  2. Sarah says:

    Haha, I love this – I am so down with the constant bribing. Literally the only thing that works when a child refuses to understand reason!! sorry for the late #fridayfrolics

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