Referendum Dogs (a Parody)

Reservoir_Dogs_Game_PS2_Front_Cover‘Every dog has his day.’

 
I can’t help but notice that the EU Referendum fallout and the subsequent Tory leadership battle seems to be, well, Reservoir Dogs. Referendum Dogs, if you will. The plot is as follows.

 
A group have orchestrated a heist on Britain. Call it a ‘referendum’ if you like, but they seem to have taken the value of our currency, our stability, our government, our national sanity, the EU, probably Scotland, and possibly Northern Ireland, so I’m calling it a heist.

The heist has been carried out by six people, acting under aliases: Mr Blue-Blood-Tory (aka David Cameron), Mr Brown-Shirt (aka Nigel Farage), Mr Pink-and-Smarmy (aka George Osborne), Mr Whiteish-Hair (aka Boris Johnson), Mr Orange-You-Sick-of-Seeing-His-Face (aka Michael Gove), and Miss Blonde (aka Theresa May). It appears the whole thing was orchestrated by mob, sorry newspaper, boss Rupert Murdoch.

The heist has gone a little awry. There has been substantial blood lost, everyone is blaming each other, and it is doubtful anyone is coming out alive.

Mr Brown-Shirt met his end immediately, becoming utterly irrelevant the second the heist began.

Mr Blue-Blood played his part in setting up the heist, but has been missing, presumed dead ever since.

Mr Whitish-Hair may have had his suspicions that the whole thing was a stupid idea from the start, but he had his own ambitions to achieve here.

Mr Whitish-Hair and Mr Orange-Etc appear be helping each other. Mr Whitish-Hair trusts Mr Orange-Etc, defending him when the others accuse Mr Orange-Etc of being an undercover leadership candidate who set them all up. Mr Whiteish-Hair is subsequently devastated when Mr Orange-Etc eventually confesses that he is indeed a leadership candidate. In the aftermath of the ensuing leadership Mexican standoff, it appears likely that the Prime ministerial ambitions of both Mr Whiteish-Hair and Mr Orange-Etc are dead.

Meanwhile, Miss Blonde doesn’t exactly seem to playing the same game as everyone else, and many suspect that she likes to torture people.

Whilst Mr Pink-and-Smarmy has quietly snuck out and vanished, and one rather fears that he was the one in possession of the money.

 
 

Come on, everyone, sing with me: ‘Clowns to the left of me, jokers to the right…’

Now, own up: whose bright idea was it to let Quentin Tarantino start directing the United Kingdom??

 
 
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26 comments

  1. LOVE Reservoir Dogs. One of my all time favourite movies. This is the best thing I have read about the referendum all week. Here I am, stuck in the middle with you….
    #KCACOLS

  2. Jo Sandelson says:

    I’m too much of a wimp to watch any Quentin Tarantino film, apart from Pulp Fiction which was a comedy. Or the bits i could see through my fingers anyway. Sounds like you’ve caught the whole EURef thing though – hate to think the whole thing has ended like this. Perhaps Quentin could make a sequel except without bringing back any of the main characters. Jo x #chucklemums

  3. That’s right, your brain at work. Honestly, I love it. This is great and it’s fun to hear your point of view. Of course, not fun for you to live this Brexit thing but still….you are making the best of it with your keyboard. Love being the beneficiary as reader!

  4. Jordanne says:

    What an amazing film! I really like this post, I’ve read so much about the EUREF lately and I’ve lost faith in humanity through it. Great post for sure.

    Jordanne || Thelifeofaglasgowgirl.co.uk

  5. You’ve got to do more political humor Silly Mummy. I confess I didn’t understand the goings on in your country until now. so glad I held out to get your hilarious take on it before my opinion was biased by some ‘objective’ news reporter. LOL.

  6. Helena says:

    To be honest we’ve not been following the news and thus politics. I also have never seen the film. What I do like about your posts though is that you offer another way of looking at things. #bestandworst

  7. The best (and most hilarious) Brexit-related article I’ve read so far! It’s spot-on and I love the film too. You’re right, it was totally a heist which has started to unravel to reveal the every-politician-for-himself agendas. #KCACOLS

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