Songs That Should Come With a Parental Advisory

child-1884904_1920Now, I know everyone tends to think they should probably avoid playing Eminem around their toddlers, maybe give the uncensored version of Lloyd’s Dedication to My Ex a miss. Well, I’m here to tell you that there are a whole host of seemingly innocuous songs out there with completely inappropriate lyrics for children. These songs are a terrible influence on any impressionable toddler, yet the censors do nothing.

Here is my list of 15 songs that should come with a parental advisory, but do not. Consider yourself warned.

 
 
1. Go Your Own Way – Fleetwood Mac

No. Don’t go your own way. COME BACK HERE.

 
2. Don’t Fear the Reaper – Blue Oyster Cult

Please do. Please fear the reaper. And stop climbing that.

 
3. Set Fire to the Rain – Adele

No, you can’t set fire to the rain. Do not try to set fire to the rain.

 
4. Don’t Stop Moving – S Club 7

Please, stop moving. I’m trying to put your shoes on.

 
5. Defying Gravity – Wicked soundtrack

You cannot defy gravity. DO NOT JUMP FROM THERE.

 
6. Everybody Hurts – REM

This does not mean that when you bang your head on the table you should whack your sister so her head hurts too.

 
7. Here I Go Again (on My Own) – Whitesnake

The supermarket is not the appropriate place for going it alone if you are two.

 
8. Don’t Let Go – En Vogue

Except for hair. Do let go of my hair.

 
9. Hungry Like the Wolf – Duran Duran

Even if you are hungry like the wolf, it is not okay to stick your head in the bowl and lick it.

 
10. I Want it All – Queen

No.

 
11. Jump/Jump for my Love/Jump Around – Van Halen/The Pointer Sisters/House of Pain

Stop **#?!@* jumping!

 
12. Paint it Black – The Rolling Stones

Don’t you dare.

 
13. Kung Fu Fighting – Carl Douglas

I don’t care if everybody was doing it.

 
14. Hot n Cold – Katy Perry

Yes, I know: ‘you’re hot then you’re cold, you’re yes then you’re no, you’re in then you’re out, you’re up then you’re down, you’re wrong when it’s right, it’s black and it’s white…’ But, for the love of god, DO YOU LIKE CHEESE OR NOT?!

 
15. (You Gotta) Fight for Your Right (to Party) – The Beastie Boys

No, you do not ‘gotta’. Especially when you are fighting with your sister for the right to hold an imaginary tea party on the cat.

36 comments

  1. I think you’ve just encapsulated toddlerdom in one song! Katy Perry is now playing on loop in my head but those words just say it all! It kinda applies to tweenagers too, as does ‘jump around’ which applies all the time – I love that song and the shrill bit in it (what is that?) Your posts are always so refreshing and unique #fridayfrolics

  2. Helen says:

    Brilliant! This one made me laugh. We have a bit of a thing for ‘Jump’ in this house lately, I think it must be at the top of the playlist somewhere and it does invoke dancing! It’s impossible not to jump, they make it sound so exciting! #FridayFrolics

  3. WebMDiva says:

    HAHAH! Genious! I don’t know why I’ve never thought of it this way. But you’re right, you absolutely cannot go your own way OR set fire to the rain. LOVES!

    #FridayFrolics forever

  4. Ashley says:

    HAHAHAHA! I think you may live in my house! I’ve said every one of these sentences at least twice and we’re not even in big kid school yet! This is awesome!

  5. Haha totally brilliant. I think I’ve said more than a few of these things to my daughter when she was younger, ok yesterday even. Thanks so much for linking up at #KCACOLS. Hope you come back again next Sunday

  6. Dara says:

    At first, I was looking up lyrics thinking “I am sure this song is completely okay”, then I got the joke. A little slow on the uptake this morning.

    I very much enjoyed this list. thank you and happy Monday!

  7. Gary says:

    No mention of Prince: Let’s Go Crazy? It was my daughter’s unofficial anthem when she was that age. I would beg for Purple Rain just to distract her!

  8. Gary says:

    No mention of Prince: Let’s Go Crazy? It was my daughter’s unofficial anthem when she was that age. I would beg for Purple Rain just to distract her!

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