The Toddler has a plastic toy shopping basket (‘bask shop’) on her head. ‘I’m Batman! Batman, Mummy!’
Clearly, this is hilarious. It is also a little surprising. The Toddler has never seen Batman. She may have heard of Batman. It is possible that, when The Toddler was first starting to talk a lot and tended to speak in a hoarse whisper, Silly Mummy and Silly Daddy may have devoted some time to trying to get her to say, ‘I’m Batman!’ This was entertaining – mostly to Silly Mummy and Silly Daddy – but was not overly successful, though she did try to say ‘Batman’ a couple of times. This had long since been forgotten. Except…there may have been one other Batman incident. On a trip to an interactive play centre, there was a Batman mask in the dressing up room. Daddy tried to put it on The Toddler. There may have been further mention of ‘I’m Batman!’ The Toddler was having none of it. Daddy wore the mask. But that was weeks ago.
Why The Toddler suddenly recalled these limited incidents of Batman on this day is a mystery. Funny what they remember. Maybe Gotham needed her. Why The Toddler felt that the shopping basket resembled Batman’s mask is even more of a mystery, though a testament to her resourcefulness. But, then, Batman is nothing if not resourceful.
So, The Toddler is Batman. Apparently, The Baby is also Batman. The basket goes on The Baby’s head: ‘The Baby is Batman! The Baby Batman!’ Well, Baby Batman is confused. What is going on here? Usually something on The Baby’s head indicates the playing of peekaboo. She wonders if Batman is the new peekaboo? Do we now pull off the head covering item and shout ‘Batman’? When in doubt giggle. The Baby giggles. She is not a natural Batman. Batman does not giggle.
The fact that The Baby is now Batman demonstrates just how inexperienced The Toddler is both at being Batman and at being a big sister. Baby siblings, of course, exist to be relegated to the role of Robin. No one told The Toddler. She is sharing Batman. We all get to be the shopping-basketed crusader: ‘Mummy Batman! Come on, Mummy! Bask shop on head! Batman!’
Following absolutely no prompting from Silly Mummy (no idea where she could possibly have learnt it), Toddler Batman declares, ‘To the Bat-abile…ooh cat! Sit there, cat!’ Batman seems awfully easily distracted today. Batmobile forgotten, Batman is now following the cat, discussing seating arrangements. That’s not going to save Gotham, now, is it? Unless the latest threat to Gotham comes in the form of Catwoman sitting on the wrong cushion.
Batman is returning to her alter-ego Toddler Wayne: she needs the bat mask/shopping basket to pick up her shopping. ‘Tidy oranges, Batman!’