The (Alleged) Incident
Silly Mummy has popped upstairs with some laundry that has come out of the dryer, leaving The Toddler and The Baby playing in the living room.
The Toddler is standing at the stairgate at the bottom of the stairs, yelling, ‘Mummy, there’s something wrong with The Baby! She needs help!’ Nothing can be heard from The Baby.
1. The Baby is choking
Against: The Baby does not have any food.
For: Not everything The Baby chooses to ‘eat’ is food.
2. The Baby has fallen off something
Against: Completely silently, without so much as a bang on impact.
3. The Baby has got stuck
For: The Baby does like to get into everything. There is a chance she is in a drawer. Or upside down behind the sofa.
Against: And has lost her voice so that she can’t mention this herself?
4. The Baby is unconscious
For: She has been ill. Perhaps she’s had a sudden attack.
Against: She only has a bad cold. Can you have a sudden attack of a cold?
5. The Toddler has trapped The Baby’s fingers in something
For: The Toddler does do this often.
Against: The Baby usually mentions it herself. Quite vocally.
6. The Baby has had a nappy related incident
For: Always a possibility.
Against: The Baby is usually more concerned about nappy incidents than The Toddler. In this event, The Baby would probably be at the bottom of the stairs herself, hollering, ‘Mummy, poo!’
7. The Toddler has sat on The Baby, and The Baby is dazed and confused
For: This hasn’t happened yet (that is to say, The Toddler has sat on The Baby, but has yet to daze her), but it seems like something that could happen.
8. The Baby is fine
Silly Mummy runs downstairs.
The Baby is sitting on the sofa, holding a teddy bear. She looks bemused, but does not appear to be in need of assistance.
1. The Toddler is a drama queen/fibber.
2. The Toddler thought Silly Mummy could use some exercise, and knows stair running is very good for bums and thighs.
3. If this is The Toddler’s reaction to The Baby having a sit down with a teddy bear, it is probably safe to assume that she is not going to keep it together come the zombie apocalypse.
I am very excited to have been shortlisted in the ‘Writer’ category in the BiB Awards. If you’ve heard of my blog, like my blog, don’t want to vote for someone else in my category, aren’t sick of people asking, and have a minute to spare, I would love your vote! You can vote here.