Welcome to the first instalment of a new occasional series (possibly*): Random Things I’ve Seen.
This first offering comes from the front window of a charity shop. I’m sure we’re all familiar with these window displays: the second hand wedding dresses, bridesmaid dresses, prom dresses, Elizabeth I’s Darnley Portrait dress…hang on. What? Yes, just an Elizabeth I dress. There in the window. Aren’t charity shops great? You know, for when you need to be a Tudor monarch, but you’re a bit short on money.
Well, I’ve given it a bit of thought, and I think I know what happened here. You know how it is: it’s your favourite dress. You love it. You wear it everywhere. You fill a palace (and several centuries of children’s history lessons) with portraits of you in the dress. It reminds you of good times. Defeating the Spanish Armada, and all that jazz.
Time goes on. You start to get a bit bored of the dress. It begins to remind you of bad times. Beheading Mary Queen of Scots. That sort of thing.
Then William Shakespeare writes you a few plays, and obviously you need new outfits to attend the performances. The dress gets pushed to the back of the wardrobe.
Finally, Sir Francis Drake introduces you to potatoes, and you’re never fitting into the dress again anyway.
Time to have one of your servants drop it down Age Concern for you.
I expect that’s what happened. Now, is anyone looking for a Queen Elizabeth I dress for their Summer wardrobe…?