Tagged Harry Potter

A Spinny Armpits: The Ten Funniest Things The Toddler Said Last Week

It’s time for the Ten Funniest Things feature, and The Toddler has a few suggestions for JK Rowling, but first here she is:

1. On doing spells
The Toddler is waving a hoover attachment at Silly Mummy and yelling, ‘A spinny armpits!’ Yes, she means ‘expelliarmus’. Silly Mummy likes The Toddler’s version better. Perhaps JK Rowling would like to rewrite the Harry Potter books with spells by The Toddler? And hoover attachments as wands. The Students can all visit Mr Dyson instead of Mr Ollivander: ‘The lint tool chooses the wizard, Mr Potter.’

2. On PA systems, conversations with
Silly Mummy, The Toddler and The Baby are in the supermarket, passing the travelator. Someone gets onto the travelator, and it starts giving its automated instructions: ‘Stand still and hold onto the hand rail.’ The Toddler is not one to miss out on a conversation, whether it involves her or not: ‘Right, I’m standing still. Standing still now.’ She’s actually sitting in the pushchair. Apparently she is expecting further input from the travelator. She reaffirms: ‘I’m standing still.’ The travelator is a bit rude and fails to acknowledge The Toddler’s compliance with its instructions. However, the PA system steps up to the mark to fill the conversational void: ‘Welcome to the store.’
‘Thank you,’ says The Toddler.

3. On getting her pyjama fix
The Toddler needs someone to help her put on her pyjamas. Strangely, she seems to want to undertake this activity in the style of a Guy Ritchie film or Irvine Welsh novel: ‘Mummy, are you going to sort me out? Daddy, you not sort me out. Mummy’s going to sort me out. You sort me out now, Mummy?’ Apparently, The Toddler is some kind of pyjama addict. She just needs one more hit. She’s going to quit, but she just needs Silly Mummy to sort her out one last time.

4. On dilemmas
The Toddler is doing forward rolls with Silly Daddy, but she has a problem: ‘I’m too big small.’ Well, that is a dilemma.

5. On Silly Daddy, knowing when to stop
The Toddler is no longer doing forward rolls with Silly Daddy. Silly Daddy does not know when to stop, but The Toddler is in control of the situation: ‘I think it’s enough, Daddy.’

6. On compliments, to others
The Toddler is continuing her campaign of raising Silly Mummy’s self esteem with compliments. This week, she likes to hold Silly Mummy’s face and whisper, ‘You’re very beauty.’ The Baby has also received Toddler-based confirmation that she is ‘very beauty’.

7. On compliments, to herself
The Toddler has not been leaving herself out of her compliments crusade, in case anyone was concerned. Walking around TK Maxx, she spots a mirror. She rushes over, grabs the sides of the mirror with both hands, puts her face millimetres away from the glass, and announces (loudly): ‘I’m so pretty!’

8. On roaring
Silly Mummy and The Baby are talking about tigers: ‘Roar!’ The Toddler is not happy with the situation: ‘Childrens don’t say roar, please.’

9. On evil queens
The Toddler likes to watch Enchanted. She struggles to remember the word ‘evil’. The evil queen appears. The Toddler is quite excited: ‘Look! Look! It’s her – the…awful queen!’

10. On shouting
The Toddler is shouting (repeatedly): ‘Everyone stop shouting!’ All attempts to explain to her that she is the one shouting are proving unsuccessful. Silly Mummy doesn’t think she can hear the explanation. Someone’s shouting.

Some other posts in the ‘Ten Funniest Things The Toddler Said Last Week’ feature
Week 2: I’ll Tell You What, Mummy
Week 9: That’s Not Fair
Week 12: Undone, Everyone
Week 17: I’m so busy

Double, Double Toil and Trouble: A Halloween Review for Zazzle

I love Halloween. This may be a little odd as I am the world’s biggest scaredy cat. Nonetheless, I am a fan of the gothic, the weird and the kooky. I love vampires, witches, magic, Harry Potter, Buffy the Vampire Slayer, Being Human, gothic horror stories. I always did. As a child I loved The Worst Witch books, Vlad the Drac and Gobbolino the Witch’s Cat. And I love the dressing up.

Now I have little people to dress up. And I have. Last Halloween, The Toddler was dressed as a little witch. She enjoyed this. She particularly enjoyed the attention she received from random strangers, running around town in her little black and purple dress, sweeping the floor with a purple broomstick. The Toddler did not quite understand the purpose of the broomstick. She has since watched Bedknobs and Broomsticks and now knows exactly what a witch’s broomstick is for: ‘Get my fishing, Mummy!’ Okay, not exactly what it is for, maybe. The Baby was only two months old last Halloween so, obviously, she wasn’t dressed up. Ahem. (*Looks at floor*) Okay, she was The Toddler Witch’s black cat. It wasn’t that cruel – it was just a sleepsuit with a cat’s body on it, and cat head and ears on the hood. She didn’t even notice. I didn’t make her ride on the end of the broomstick, or anything. No, really this time, I didn’t. I didn’t. She was oblivious in the pram. This year it appears that The Toddler would like to be Cinderella or Sleeping Beauty. I am a little less enthused about these prospects. I am trying a subtle approach: ‘Isn’t Maleficent pretty?’

I like to watch films for Halloween too, of course. Not actual scary ones, let’s not get silly. The Rocky Horror Picture Show. Shaun of the Dead. I have been wondering how old The Toddler will need to be before we can watch Ghostbusters. I could play her the song. I’m sure she’d love to join in:
‘If there’s something strange in the neighbourhood, who you gonna call?’
‘Grandma! Me call Grandma on the Skype now?’

So, given my love of Halloween, and all things supernatural, when online store Zazzle asked if I would like to review items from their Halloween range I was excited.

I’m new to Zazzle, and I can honestly say I loved it. Firstly, there is a vast range of products. I was obviously looking specifically at the Halloween products, which is in itself a huge choice, but I did take a quick look at the wider ranges too, and confirmed I could have shopped for days.

What I was really excited by, however, was the discovery that you can personalise literally anything. Not only that, you can choose exactly what it says, where it goes, the font, the size. You can even add images. It’s really fun to get involved in the design of your items. A further feature that I loved was the range of choice on clothing items. If you pick a child’s top, for example, you can then choose to change the style and colour as well.

I chose a Halloween incy wincy spider top (seen here) for The Toddler, a Halloween witch top (seen here) for The Baby and a Halloween black cat courier bag (seen here) for myself. I picked long sleeved tops for the girls, ready for Autumn. I then personalised the items to have our blog names on the back. I am really pleased to have some items that commemorate my blog (especially as I will soon have to change the names I use for the girls, now that both are technically toddlers, and will always be fondly attached to the names I started out with). All the items arrived promptly and with no fuss, and I really love them.

Zazzle 5Zazzle 6

 
The girls’ tops are so cute. The Toddler is very excited about her top. And The Baby’s top. And my bag. Particularly my bag, in fact. She knows incy wincy spider, and is taken with witches and spells at present, so she likes the designs on the tops. The Baby apparently thought she had ordered a ‘duck’. But this is really The Baby’s response to everything at present, and she does look very cute in her witchy top.

Zazzle 7Zazzle 8

 
The bag is brilliant. The Toddler has noted that the cat is ‘like our cat’, which she seems to approve of (that is she approves of the similarity, not our cat, who is frankly a grump). She does not appear to have noted that the bag is not, in fact, hers. I picked the bag because I never have anything that I can put just the basics I need into, rather than my massive handbags. Now that both girls are heavy and walking, I am often walking one and pushing a pushchair, walking one and carrying one, or walking two, and an additional big bag for my keys, phone and purse is not ideal. This bag is perfect. Even better, for short local trips, it is also the perfect size for a couple of nappies, some wipes and snacks to be added to money and phone, and no other bag is needed. I love the little cat design. I am not a pink, flowery person. Halloween or not, all things gothic, creepy or kooky are easily my favourite design choices. Not to mention that it is now my ‘Silly Mummy’ bag.

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I would really recommend having a look at Zazzle if you want any personalised item; and for events, holidays and gifts. They have a bit (well, a lot, actually) of everything: clothing, accessories, mugs, household items, office items, keyrings, notebooks, to name just a few. The site is also good for offering a wide price range to suit different budgets. Plus, I noticed that there’s a Harry Potter range – I’m thinking I may get The Toddler a top to confirm ‘I’m not a Hufflepuff‘.

As for the Halloween range, you can choose from the huge selection of Halloween tops, mugs, party accessories, and much more. As stated, I am a fan of the kooky and I chose designs that suit that. The choice is immense, however, and would have something to suit any taste. There are kooky designs, cute designs, word designs, funny designs, witches, pumpkins, cats, spiders, bats, skeletons, zombies, vampires, monsters – you name it. The choice of fonts is also extensive. I picked ones that suited the Halloween theme and the designs.

I am also going to mention the fantastic range of trick or treat bags (seen here) that you can have personalised for your child. I loved these, and I think they would be great if you are going trick or treating or to Halloween parties with your children. I only didn’t get one of these because I am well aware that The Toddler must not discover that asking people to give her chocolate to fill a bag is a thing. Much as it would be funny to hear her yell what I am fairly sure would be her version of trick or treat: ‘Choccy or you are the naughty wolf!’

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Disclosure: I was sent these items by Zazzle to review. All opinions are my own.

I’m Not a Hufflepuff: The Ten Funniest Things The Toddler Said Last Week

It’s that time of the week again: the Ten Funniest Things feature.

Very appropriately on the very day we all pile onto Platform Nine and Three Quarters, The Toddler is talking Hogwarts houses.

On with the sorting…sorry, talking, with The Toddler:

1. On herself, talking all the time
The Toddler has a bit of a problem, which she explains to Silly Mummy: ‘I talk all the time. I don’t want to.’

2. On Hogwarts’ Houses
The Toddler appears to quite like Harry Potter, though Silly Mummy had assumed she did not take that much in. Silly Mummy assumed wrong. The Toddler is roaring and huffing, leading Silly Mummy to ask, ‘Are you the big bad wolf? Do you huff and puff?’
The Toddler gives Silly Mummy a disparaging look, ‘No, I’m not a Hufflepuff.’ There you go: taken it all in, right down to knowing which house is, frankly, a bit rubbish. Any allegation of being a Hufflepuff (or even something that sounds a little bit like it) will be firmly denied by The Toddler and her people (The Baby).

3. On origami
Silly Mummy has had a rainy day activity brainwave*: ‘Would you like to do some origami?’
The Toddler would like to do some origami: ‘Yes, me do gabagoombadi!’
(*It wasn’t a brainwave. The Toddler is two. The Baby is one. Origami is fiddly folding of small pieces of paper. It was a stupid idea. Miraculously, a dog, a crane, a waterlily, a jumping frog and a giraffe were made. The Baby ate the frog and the giraffe. The lily was inexplicably deeply offensive to The Toddler. She still cries if it is shown to her.)

4. On best friends
The Toddler plops herself down next to The Baby, puts her arm around her, and announces, ‘We’re best friends!’ The Baby does not appear to have a say in the matter, but looks quite pleased anyway.

5. On being a sandwich
The Toddler is being a funny girl, and Silly Mummy tells her so. The Toddler disagrees: ‘I’m not a funny girl – I’m a sandwich!’ Ah, well, Silly Mummy always did get those two mixed up.

6. On forgiving yourself
The Toddler is looking at a display in the book shop. She knocks something over and picks it back up, muttering to herself, ‘Oh sorry, sorry…It’s okay, don’t worry.’ She may have taken learning to forgive yourself a little literally.

7. On baby bumps
The Toddler has had a little collision with The Baby in the hallway, but she has it under control: ‘Sorry, gorgeous. You okay, gorgeous?’ She even knows a song for the situation: ‘Ouch said the baby bumps in to door.’

8. On imaginary friends, not holding hands
The Toddler is wandering around, talking to herself: ‘You not want to hold my hand? No? I go back to the the door?’ It sounds to Silly Mummy like The Toddler has a not very friendly imaginary friend.
Silly Mummy asks, ‘Did your imaginary friend not want to hold your hand?’
‘No, didn’t want to.’ Well, it’s nice that The Toddler realises that imaginary people can have personal space issues too.

9. On Grandma, good girl
The Toddler has had her nappy changed by Grandma. She feels it is important to encourage this sort of behaviour: ‘Oh good girl, Grandma! Good girl!’

10. On The Baby, what her problem is
The Baby is sitting on the sofa, minding her own business. The Toddler is not impressed with her attitude: ‘The Baby, what’s your problem? Why are you doing nothing?’

 
 
Other posts in the ‘Ten Funniest Things The Toddler Said Last Week’ feature
Week 2: I’ll Tell You What, Mummy
Week 5: Don’t Do It
Week 7: Calm Down
Week 9: That’s Not Fair
Week 10: Silly Me
Week 11: Right, What’s The Problem