(Yes, it is a rare non-parenting post.)
I don’t want to alarm anyone, but it has come to my attention that we, or at least our government, appear to have regressed to the Middle Ages. More specifically, the rule of Richard the Lionheart. Even more specifically – and worryingly – the rule of Richard the Lionheart, as portrayed in the film Robin Hood Prince of Thieves. I know, I know, but stick with me.
1. The Sheriff of Nottingham
I can’t be the only one to have noticed that the Chancellor is the Sheriff of Nottingham, as characterised in Robin Hood Prince of Thieves. He can surely be only one budget away from announcing: ‘Cancel the kitchen scraps for the lepers and the orphans, no more merciful beheadings, and call off Christmas!’
2. Robin Hood
Meanwhile, I am not yet entirely convinced by Iain Duncan Smith’s recent attempt to recast himself as Robin Hood, protector of the poor and vulnerable (though, admittedly, at least in the Prince of Thieves film, Robin did start out as a cruel, entitled arse, too). However, if he wants to learn archery, don a pair of tights, and rob some of Jeremy Hunt’s ample supplies of arrogance to redistribute amongst the less fortunate, I will reconsider the position.
3. Feudal Overlords
As far as I can tell, the government’s housing policy (you know, the ‘get rid of all the social housing and build new houses no one can afford’ one) is pretty heavily based on the feudal system/manorialism of the Middle Ages. The intention appears to be to return to a situation in which the peasants cannot own land, and have no option but to give all of their money to the feudal overlords/Tory crony landlords in order to live on their land/rented accommodation.
4. Education and Health care
It would appear that several key members of the government would quite like to see state provision of education and healthcare equal that available in the Middle Ages: none. (Though they seem to be aiming to achieve this goal by borrowing from another period of history: that bit where we got a load of British people to go to Australia.)
5. Prince John
Boris Johnson seems to have cast himself as Prince John in this ridiculous re-enactment, stirring up discord and making his bid to seize power. As with Prince John, it all seems vaguely ridiculous and unlikely to succeed at the moment, but they’ll probably nonetheless hand him the leadership at some point.
6. Animal Monikers
I think I’ve made my case, so I’ll just leave everyone to insert their own Richard the Lionheart style animal based moniker for our Prime Minister here. I doubt the animal would be lion. Or the body part a heart.
And, yes, I have steered away from the issue of The Crusades, but suffice it to say there is probably a parallel in a general feeling of: ‘Excuse us, but what the hell do you think you’re doing? We were trying to live here!’)
I am very excited to have been shortlisted in the ‘Writer’ category in the BiB Awards. If you’ve heard of my blog, like my blog, don’t want to vote for someone else in my category, aren’t sick of people asking, and have a minute to spare, I would love your vote! You can vote here.