Now, I know everyone tends to think they should probably avoid playing Eminem around their toddlers, maybe give the uncensored version of Lloyd’s Dedication to My Ex a miss. Well, I’m here to tell you that there are a whole host of seemingly innocuous songs out there with completely inappropriate lyrics for children. These songs are a terrible influence on any impressionable toddler, yet the censors do nothing.
Here is my list of 15 songs that should come with a parental advisory, but do not. Consider yourself warned.
1. Go Your Own Way – Fleetwood Mac
No. Don’t go your own way. COME BACK HERE.
2. Don’t Fear the Reaper – Blue Oyster Cult
Please do. Please fear the reaper. And stop climbing that.
3. Set Fire to the Rain – Adele
No, you can’t set fire to the rain. Do not try to set fire to the rain.
4. Don’t Stop Moving – S Club 7
Please, stop moving. I’m trying to put your shoes on.
5. Defying Gravity – Wicked soundtrack
You cannot defy gravity. DO NOT JUMP FROM THERE.
6. Everybody Hurts – REM
This does not mean that when you bang your head on the table you should whack your sister so her head hurts too.
7. Here I Go Again (on My Own) – Whitesnake
The supermarket is not the appropriate place for going it alone if you are two.
8. Don’t Let Go – En Vogue
Except for hair. Do let go of my hair.
9. Hungry Like the Wolf – Duran Duran
Even if you are hungry like the wolf, it is not okay to stick your head in the bowl and lick it.
10. I Want it All – Queen
11. Jump/Jump for my Love/Jump Around – Van Halen/The Pointer Sisters/House of Pain
Stop **#?!@* jumping!
12. Paint it Black – The Rolling Stones
Don’t you dare.
13. Kung Fu Fighting – Carl Douglas
I don’t care if everybody was doing it.
14. Hot n Cold – Katy Perry
Yes, I know: ‘you’re hot then you’re cold, you’re yes then you’re no, you’re in then you’re out, you’re up then you’re down, you’re wrong when it’s right, it’s black and it’s white…’ But, for the love of god, DO YOU LIKE CHEESE OR NOT?!
15. (You Gotta) Fight for Your Right (to Party) – The Beastie Boys
No, you do not ‘gotta’. Especially when you are fighting with your sister for the right to hold an imaginary tea party on the cat.