Thank You for Having a Lovely Time: The Ten Funniest Things The Toddler Said Last Week

After a break, and now appearing on entirely random days of the week because, frankly, Silly Mummy is still not quite sure what day it is (normal service will probably be resumed around February), it is time once again for The Ten Funniest Things The Toddler Said Last Week (or, in this case, at some point in the past three weeks or so).

So, without further ado, here is The Toddler:

1. On going out, not very good at it
The Toddler is sitting at the table colouring, and apparently making plans for the rest of her day: ‘I go out. I go out in the snow.’ It’s not snowing, of course, but The Toddler has always liked to invent imaginary weather for her imaginary trips. She continues with her planning: ‘I need to put my boots on to go out in the snow.’ She appears to have this all in hand, except… ‘I don’t have a key.’ The Toddler is contrite in the face of her newly revealed going out inadequacies, and quickly steps aside for a more experienced go outer, turning to Silly Mummy: ‘Maybe you’d better go out – I’m not very good at it.’

2. On books, not today
The Toddler picks up a book and starts ‘reading’, before experiencing an abrupt change of mind: ‘No, I’m not going to read the book. Throw the book away. No books today.’ Flinging the book aside, she marches off.

3. On bidding visitors farewell
The Toddler has been attempting proper etiquette surrounding farewells to visitors, seeing Grandma off with: ‘Thank you for having a lovely time!’ She may have got a little confused. Presumably she meant ‘thank you for visiting’. Still, her version is sweet, if a little presumptuous.

4. On invitations to her house
The Toddler, it would appear, is in fact a bit confused about many aspects of this saying goodbye to visitors business. During the same farewell to Grandma following her visit to what we all thought was The Toddler’s house, The Toddler says, ‘When you come back next time, you can visit my house.’ Does The Toddler have another house she’s hiding?

5. On storytelling
The Toddler has decided to tell The Baby a story. It’s quite good. Concise. Relatable. Clear conclusion. ‘Once upon a time there was a little The Baby called The Baby. And The End.’

6. On giving affection, bossily
The Toddler is attempting the bossiest display of sisterly affection ever: ‘Do cuddle, The Baby. Come here and do cuddle. Stand here for cuddle. Come and stand just here, and give me a cuddle.’

7. On being Silly Daddy’s fairy godmother
The Toddler has picked up a stick (magic wand) on the beach. She has also recently become obsessed with the live action version of Cinderella. This is probably connected to what she is doing with the stick: ‘I do magic wand trick. Put Daddy into a dress.’ Probably connected. Either way, Silly Daddy is now pretending to be suddenly wearing a fetching ballgown.

8. On scheduling an audience with herself
Silly Mummy, The Toddler and The Baby are at the shops. Silly Mummy is trying to speak to The Toddler, who is not currently available for Silly Mummy, informing her: ‘You be quiet. I’m just going to talk to The Baby, then I’ll talk to you.’

9. On that time she chopped off her hand
The Toddler is chattering to herself: ‘…That time I chopped off my hand…And I was very sad because I needed to see the doctor.’ Well, all Silly Mummy is saying is that this must have happened on Silly Daddy’s watch.

10. On Silly Mummy’s food, getting away
Silly Mummy has put down her (empty) bowl on the table, and is helping The Baby to finish her food. Silly Daddy comes and clears away Silly Mummy’s bowl, to much consternation from The Toddler: ‘Mummy, your food’s getting away! Get it back!’


If you’d like to see further posts in the ‘Ten Funniest Things The Toddler Said Last Week’ feature, they can be found here.


  1. Brilliant. My personal favourite is silly daddy pretending to wear a dress, its amazing what our other halves are prepared to do once a little person is in their lives. Mine is currently a choo choo train on a regular basis

  2. Kimmie says:

    Brilliant. Some of these sayings (I have five kids so not that surprising) sound very familiar. You often take me to my archived memories 🙂


  3. Love The Toddler’s rather bossy (but quite adorable) display of sisterly affection – demanding cuddles from The Baby. Her attempt at being Cinderella’s Fairy Godmother made me laugh – I now have a mental image of Silly Daddy in a dress which is very funny. I’m glad that the doctor managed to sort out The Toddler’s chopped hand so well that it appears to have never had happened! :_)

  4. Clare says:

    Haha brilliant! I love your toddler, she is hilarious! I really need to get around to subscribing to silly mummy’s blog! It’s bloody brilliant! #KCACOLS xx

  5. Mrs Mum NZ says:

    I just love the amazing things toddlers come out with. Each and every one of these made me smile.
    My little boy is 15 months and not very chatty at the moment. I’m totally looking forward to him rambling on about such crazy things!

  6. Brilliant! I loved this, each and every one put a smile on my face. I remember when LP was a todder (he’s 6 now) he would come out with some corkers!

    Thanks for linking to #PoCoLo and I hope to ‘see’ you again this Friday. x

  7. Aww I love No 7. My husband always does these things with my girls, especially with my eldest daughter Bella. Even once he let Bella to put some make up which was hilarious lol. Thanks so much for sharing this at #KCACOLS. 🙂 x

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