The Baby is very vocal. She is always up for a bit of random shouting. She enjoys a good squeal. She has much to say on the subject of bears: ‘Abear! Abear! Abear!’ Sadly for The Baby, whilst she chatters excitedly, loudly and incessantly, she is chattering in a different language to everyone around her. Even The Toddler is confused. The Toddler tries to explain to The Baby that there are no bears. She makes suggestions as to how The Baby may have become confused: ‘No, The baby! No bear – Daddy!’ The Baby is adamant: ‘Abear! Abear!’
The Baby and The Toddler are at the zoo. The Baby is unimpressed. She sleeps. Occasionally she cries. We go to see the parrots. The parrots screech and squawk. They make an almighty racket. The Baby smiles. This is more like it. The tigers ignored her. The giraffes were downright rude. These brightly-coloured, feathery creatures, on the other hand, appear to speak baby! The Baby yells, ‘Rah rah rah rah’, and throws in a high pitched scream for good measure. The parrots screech. Yes, they are indeed speaking baby. It’s an unfamiliar regional dialect, but The Baby gets the gist. She feels they can muddle through. She squeals and hollers, ‘Ba baaaaaa!’ The parrots squawk. The Baby laughs. The parrots told a funny joke. The parrots are very loud. The Baby is unfazed. The Baby is very loud. The parrots and The Baby are getting on like a house on fire. The parrots shriek all the sounds they know. The Baby quite agrees. She bellows all the sounds she knows.
It is time to move on to the giant tortoises. The Baby screeches a cheerful goodbye to the parrots. She is in her element. People – albeit slightly odd-looking, beaky ones – are speaking her language for once. She turns her attention to the nearest tortoise. ‘Ba ba ba. Aaaah ra ra. Goober. Abear?’ The tortoise stares at her. It says nothing. The Baby’s smile fades. Here we go again. The tortoise is rude.