Toddler Literature (Toddler Lessons: Part Five)

stack-of-books-1001655_1920In Part Five of the Toddler Lessons series, we are studying English Literature.

Toddlers are typically accomplished storytellers, and enthusiastic poets. Here are toddler takes on six literary mediums, styles and devices.

(As an added bonus with this lesson, I think we can all agree no one need actually read Romeo and Juliet ever again. You are welcome.)

1. Poetry

Early toddler poetry is characterised by the seminal work ‘Duck’:

Mummy: duck!

Bizarrely, this piece of poetry, word for word, is attributable to every young toddler ever.

As toddlers progress, their poetry moves on – often to the style of the epic poem. The epic poem ‘Mummy I Have A Complaint About Everything That Has Happened Today’ is approximately two years long. (Of course, that’s just ‘Part One: The Toddler Years’. ‘Part Two: The Teenage Years’ resumes at the age of thirteen, and is roughly five years long.) Put that in your pipe and smoke it, Homer. Twenty-four books for the Odyssey? Is that the best you could manage?

2. Plays

If anyone is ever in need of a quick summary of Romeo and Juliet, they could do worse than watch toddlers interacting for a few minutes. In ‘Todleo and Todliet’, two toddlers meet at a playgroup. Despite not knowing each other at all, they instantly love each other. If one of them had previously been in love with another toddler (let’s call her Rosaline, that way, if anyone actually is foolish enough to attempt to use this as a Romeo and Juliet study guide, they will at least get one mark), this is immediately forgotten. Rosaline now smells. Somehow, with no real explanation as to exactly why everyone has decided to so epically overreact, war breaks out among all of the toddlers in the room, resulting in great bloodshed on all sides. Todliet decides to play dead, though no one can quite work out why she thinks this is helpful. Todleo runs away, before deciding that he also wants to play dead because Todliet is. The entire relationship lasts about five minutes, and ends in chaos, panic and disorder for everyone in the room.

3. Literary Quotes

Toddlers are fans of a good literary quote, and have found each of these popular examples to be frequently applicable to their own lives.

The Rime of the Ancient Mariner, Samuel Taylor Coleridge

Anyone who is foolhardy enough to give a toddler a free flow cup will be aware that toddlers are Coleridge fans:
‘Water, water everywhere,
Nor any drop to drink.’
(‘Yoghurt, yoghurt everywhere, and not so much as a bloody spoonful in a mouth’ is also a popular toddler variation on the quote.)

A Tale of Two Cities, Charles Dickens

‘It was the best of times, it was the worst of times’ pretty much sums up the toddler age. It is usually a fairly accurate description of the elation, heartbreak, giggling and sobbing that formed the emotional rollercoaster that was the preceding five minutes in a toddler’s life.

The Road Not Taken, Robert Frost

‘Two roads diverged in a wood, and Iā€”
I took the one less traveled by…’
…And that is why I got lost. And covered in mud. And Mummy shouted.

King Lear, William Shakespeare

When they have been told off, toddlers often like to adopt King Lear’s self-pitying stance: ‘I am a [toddler] more sinned against than sinning.’ This is illustrated by anguished sobbing about how awful Mummy was to suggest that a banana was not to be inserted into the DVD player, no matter how convinced one may be that said banana is the blu-ray edition of Tangled.

4. Symbolism, Suggestion, Themes and Motifs

Toddler words are laden with symbolism and deeper meaning. In the famous soliloquy ‘I want raisins NOW’, for example, the evaporation of the water from the grape to make the raisin symbolises the evaporation of the toddler’s dreams of getting chocolate instead of raisins. Of course, there are those who believe the soliloquy is not symbolic of anything, and simply demonstrates that toddlers like raisins. Such disagreements, however, merely serve to confirm that toddlers are worthy of their places in the world of literature, which is rife with this type of debate. Hamlet: a tragic hero whose struggles and actions represent the mystery of death, the state of the nation, incestuous desire, and the nature of revenge…or just a bit of an arse? (If you are due to sit an exam on Hamlet any time soon, I would say that the former option is the one traditionally preferred by the exam boards. You can believe the latter on your own time, like the rest of us.)

5. Structure

Toddler storytellers laugh in the face of the traditional idea that a story should have a beginning, a middle and an end. Middles, in the opinion of toddlers, take rather a lot of effort – all that formulating of plots – and waste everyone’s time. This is why the complete and unabridged version of many famous toddler works is: ‘Once upon a time…The End!’ Furthermore, many toddlers view the middles certain authors insist on putting into their books with disdain, and will refuse to allow anyone to see any pages other than the first or last. These two pages contain all the information a toddler needs, and they will not have well meaning parents assaulting their ears with an actual story.

6. Literary/Narrative Devices

Toddlers employ a number of important narrative devices to great effect in both their storytelling and their lives.


(A plot device formed of a goal, object, etc that the protagonist pursues, with little or no explanation provided as to why it is considered to be important.)

Toddlers actually devote much of their lives to MacGuffins, dedicating themselves to the pursuit of some goal (getting their feet into two small plastic cups) or object (anything belonging to Mummy and unsuitable for a toddler) for reasons that are entirely inexplicable even to themselves.


This is the main style of toddler storytelling. Toddlers don’t like understatement, it’s just so boring. Extensive use of hyperbole as a narrative style is how, after an uneventful day featuring a simple trip to the shops, Daddy, upon his return to from work, will come to believe the day was spent meeting Grandma. And Peppa Pig. In Austria. To go swimming. At the circus. Where we got milk (we did get milk – there has to be a little bit of truth). Whilst dressed as Snow White (everyone, including imaginary Grandma).

Plot Twist

Toddlers are unrivaled among storytellers for their ability to create a plot twist no one could see coming. Indeed, many toddler stories take such a twist that they actually become an entirely different story, bearing little (no) relation to the original: ‘We went to the shops, and I wore my shoes, and I had some raisins, and then…can you show me tiger? Cos my bedroom is an apple.’


Toddlers like a backstory. Particularly if it is rambling, apparently interminable, and utterly irrelevant to what they are actually talking about.


The use of cliffhangers is a popular feature in toddler storytelling, usually occurring when the toddler in question gets distracted by something shiny and wanders off, leaving their audience forever mystified as to the ending of the tale.

Stream of Consciousness

Like James Joyce, toddlers are fans of the stream of consciousness, narrating exactly what is in their heads, with little editing, censorship or logic. Many critics have suggested the toddler stream of consciousness to be infinitely more entertaining and mildly more coherent than Ulysses, though this makes hardcore Joyce fans very angry.


(Please Note: Do NOT use this post as a study guide for Romeo and Juliet. Or anything else.)

You can see other posts in my Toddler Lessons series here


  1. ?? brilliant once again.
    You’re so knowledgable and the way you write is just brilliant!

    Loved the Romeo and Juliette part – can totally imagine a day at preschool being just like that! ???

  2. Ickle Pickle says:

    This is so funny – I have a three year old and a 19 year old studying English Literature at degree level!! As well as two teens in between. There is drama here at both ends of the scale! Kaz x

  3. Alice says:

    Is there a toddler who ever lived that has not spent at least one day trying to put their feet into two small plastic cups? In our case, these were from a stacking set. Well, they do say that most people have one foot bigger than the other…
    Great post, lovely.
    x Alice

  4. Brilliant, just brilliant! Oh how I have seen the King Lear adaption play out in our lives may a time šŸ˜‰ Love all of these, I can say we have definitely seen and experienced a lot of these instances in the two years. Emily #KCACOLS

  5. Emma says:

    Another cracking post. I now realise that toddlers in playgroup are Romeo and Juliet, how did I not notice this and I also love the comparison to the Rhyme of the Ancient Mariner! #kcacols

  6. Kat says:

    I love this! Really interesting and creative and completely get it. I wouldn’t mind seeing that rendition of Romeo & Juliet although I did it to death (like everyone!) at school! #kcacols

  7. ShoeboxofM says:

    This is wonderful. I will now add the not Robert Frost version whenever I see that pompous Walking Dead mobile game that uses that quote.

    Toddlers are masters of the non-sequitur. It makes every day a little more Sam and Max.

    I’m yet to witness Toddleo and Toddliet but can see it coming. At the moment it’s more Ross and Monica than Shakespeare (get away from my sister!).


  8. Cheryl says:

    Hah! Very funny and cleverly done. (Brought back a lot of memories of English Lit A-level remembering all of these literary terms!) Yes to many of those including Yoghurt Yoghurt everywhere, Best of Times and The Worst of Times. Can also relate frequently to the Hyberbole and symbolism sections too! #Fartglitter

  9. This made me smile alot. Superb post and I could relate to alot of the literary approaches you mentioned – particularly the use of structure (or lack thereof), and cliffhanger…. #AnythingGoes

  10. Oh this is brilliant! I love everything about this post! It’s spot on too, the first and last page thing, todliet and todleo, the cliffhangers and the rambling non-sensical adlibbing of their fave tales. Thanks so much for linking up with us! #bigpinklink

  11. Starting to wonder if you’re an Oxford grad. Too clever by half. Toddleo and Toddliet! Snorted. And Hamlet. And the disclaimer. You totally crack me up all the way every time. Thank God for your blog. I look out for it on linkies #Marvondays #fartglitter #bigpinklink

  12. Starting to wonder if you’re an Oxford grad. Too clever by half. Toddleo and Toddliet! Snorted. And Hamlet. And the disclaimer. You totally crack me up all the way every time. Thank God for your blog. I look out for it on linkies #MarvMondays #fartglitter #bigpinklink

  13. Keri says:

    Yes, yes, and yes!! This is exactly right!! You have explained toddlers to a t! You had me laughing, especially the part where toddlers won’t let parents read the middle of books. Too funny!!

  14. This is really funny!! I also found the part of Rome & Juliet hilarious. Just the typical toddler behaviour. Thanks so much for sharing this at #KCACOLS and also for commenting so much. I love that!! Hope to see you again tonight/tomorrow! šŸ™‚ x

  15. I often find myself laughing out loud at your posts and this one is no different. I can so relate to the romeo and Juliet piece and as Monkey gets older (he’s now 3 1/2) it seems to get worse!! Thank you for joining us at #BloggerClubUK hope to see you again next week x

  16. Mum in Brum says:

    This is brilliant! I can’t believe how much you have remembered from school! hehe. All so so true – I’m very much looking forward to toddler story telling once Taylor’s old enough to talk. I definitely feel like Rosaline most days when dad gets home! x

  17. Nikki says:

    This is so funny, I think my favorite part about story time was the toddlers retelling. Once Upon a Time… The end. And of course this worked out great until it was my turn to tell the nighttime story and I would start out on the first page “once upon a time” and flip to the last page and announce “the end”. This would be the point that the child would realize that I skipped all the middle pages and make me start over. And once I finished, of course they weren’t ready for sleep so I had to read it again and again. So unfair. They can skip the middle of the story but I had to read it twice! Or Thrice! LOL

  18. Emma says:

    You are so brilliantly funny. We have already had a renactment of the Ancient Mariner this morning “bloody milk everywhere!” #FridayFrolics

  19. Mama Grace says:

    Toddlers are and their antics are full of material. My little poet is full of plot twists today, she just handed me a dead fly. We went from a comedy to a tragedy in a second. #FridayFrolics

  20. Pray tell from whence do you get these ideas? (I was trying to sound intellectual and literary but failed miserably.) I just snorted orange juice, water and iced coffee (what can I say, it’s hot and I can’t decide what to drink first) all over myself. Repeatedly. #fridayfrolics

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