We Are Not a Stinker: The Ten Funniest Things The Toddler Said Last Week

It’s Ten Funniest Things time. Last week started quietly, but Silly Mummy is pleased to say that The Toddler stepped up her game, pulled it out of the bag, and turned into Queen Victoria. As you do.

So please curtesy for Queen Toddler:

1. On cooking and the Can Can
The Toddler has a new television obsession. She enjoys ‘Can Can Cook’.* This is obviously that CBeebies programme where Katy teaches us how to make risotto whilst wearing a frilly dress and performing a high-kicking French dance. It’s an innovative idea, but only for the very coordinated among us.

(*She means ‘I Can Cook‘, which Silly Mummy now realises is disappointingly lacking in anyone doing the Can Can.)

 
2. On the royal we
The Toddler has a new identity. As Queen Victoria. She has done a poo and Silly Mummy says, ‘I think you’re a stinker.’
The Toddler replies with the royal we: ‘We are not a stinker, are we?’ Silly Mummy believes we are a stinker, but we are certainly not amused. (See what we did there?)

3. On one’s boots
Further to the above, The Toddler apparently also now receives her shoes in a manner befitting her new role as Queen Victoria: ‘There’s one’s boots.’

4. On eating The Baby’s food
The Toddler has just finished her lunch. The Baby is still eating in the high chair. The Toddler says, ‘May I go and see The Baby?’
Silly Mummy has some experience with the possible motivation behind this request: ‘Yes, but please don’t take her food. Let her eat her food.’
The Toddler nods, ‘Okay.’ She pauses. ‘I might have a little bit.’ It was not a suggestion, The Toddler!

5. On thank you, sooooo much
The Toddler’s usual form of showing gratitude is now: ‘Thank you. Thank you sooooo much.’ Is she really, really grateful? Or is she really sarcastic? Did anyone watch Father Ted? Remember Father Jack’s tone when he was doing an exaggerated, sarcastic thank you? It’s exactly that tone. Yep: she’s sarcastic, isn’t she?

6. On herself, only little
Silly Mummy is explaining to The Toddler why she can’t eat a whole rock bun: ‘That’s a grown up size portion of cake. You’re only little.’
The Toddler decides to concede the point: ‘Yes, I am a bit little.’

7. On The Baby, how she should eat
The Toddler is offering advice and instruction to The Baby on an area in which she has great expertise: eating. She is pointing at The Baby’s mouth, and explaining exactly what she should do: ‘Eat it very properly.’

8. On naughty penguins/oranges
The Toddler is pushing around a toy shopping trolley. She brings it over to Silly Mummy and opines, ‘That one’s being naughty!’ She points at a plastic orange (which does its best to look innocent), and continues, ‘That penguin!’ Well, that is a naughty penguin, living a double life as an orange. Thank god The Toddler can see through its web of deception to the (naughty) penguin within.

9. On supercalifragilisticexpialidocious
The Toddler’s love of Mary Poppins has still not abated, and she continues to attempt to learn to say ‘supercalifragilisticexpialidocious’. She has made progress, and can now say about half of the word, but she is using it in a rather odd context. The Baby has taken one of The Toddler’s toys: ‘Give it back, The Baby! Supercalifragilistic you!’ It is possible she thinks supercalifragilisticexpialidocious is a threat. Or voodoo.

10. On reading
The Toddler picks up one of Silly Mummy’s books: ‘Right then, Mummy’s book. Right then, let’s read this.’ Following this pep talk, The Toddler starts turning pages. After a few pages, she looks up and says sadly, ‘I’m not very well at reading books.’

Some other posts in the ‘Ten Funniest Things The Toddler Said Last Week’ feature
Week 2: I’ll Tell You What, Mummy
Week 5: Don’t Do It
Week 13: I’m Not a Hufflepuff
Week 14: Childrens
Super Busy MumBest of WorstMummaknowsYou Baby Me MummyPost Comment Love
Super Busy MumBest of WorstMummaknowsYou Baby Me MummyPost Comment Love

27 comments

  1. Carol Hedges says:

    Oh Gawd… don’t you just wish you never said it! My latest with Little G is an identity crisis of EPIC proportions….looking at pics of herself on my Twitter, she now points and says, in perfect Hedges diction: ..Look it’s YOU!!!! Ulp!

  2. Mummaknows says:

    Haha #4…my toddler will say “after the babieeee is done her food I can have some”…..ermm no I think baby will finish her food and you need to let her eat her own food. “Okay, but AFTER she is done, then I will have her food” Oh boy. #famjamlinky

  3. Mim says:

    Hee heee oh love it – ‘one’s boots’! I love toddlers, you just don’t appreciate their hilarity until you have one, right? Ours has a favourite response to any request this week – ‘not today’. Where did she learn that?? Mim x #thelist

  4. I love that you have compared her to Queen Victoria! I wonder where she picked up the royal ‘we’ from?! I now really wish that there was a programme called Can Can Cook – with frilly dresses and everything! Thanks for being this weeks newbie showcase and for linking to #PoCoLo x

  5. Emma T says:

    I love the mad things that kids come out with. N’s current favourite (also picked up by nursery) is ‘excuse me’. But not to interrupt, just scattered within his speech. I’ve no idea where he got it from.

  6. Fionnuala says:

    The Toddler should have her own reality show, I think. I’d certainly watch it. And as for ‘Can Can Cook’ I can see a cross between Masterchef and Strictly Come Dancing working, can’t you?
    #ftmob

  7. Ha! I love the royal we – I hope it lasts much longer. It kind of baffles me how they work out I and you and me and all that stuff. We find it rather confusing 🙂 thanks for linking up to #TheList xx

  8. The things kids say, ah! It’s hard sometimes to pick just a few of the many things they can come out with.

    As MasterCard would say, they’re “Priceless.” I always love reading your posts, they’re gauarnteed to make me laugh

    Thanks for sharing #ftmob

  9. Can Can Cook sounds much more interesting than I Can Cook – maybe The Toddler should suggest this to CBeebies as a possible spin-off? Love her regal moments and using “Supercalifragilistic you!” as a threat – very funny. Glad she managed to see through the penguin masquerading as an orange – gotta love her imagination! Thanks for linking up with #ftmob 🙂

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