We Have a Problem: The Ten Funniest Things The Toddler Said Last Week

It’s Ten Funniest Things time, where The Toddler is arranging sight-seeing trips and lamenting having the wrong head. Meanwhile, in her corner, The Baby has developed an unintentional attitude.

Over to The Toddler:

1. On problems, urgent Baby assistance required
The Toddler is on the phone. She is phoning The Baby. The Baby is in her castle, on the other side of the room, obviously. Apparently, there is an emergency situation for The Baby to deal with: ‘The Baby, come quick! We have a problem…Someone has done something.’ Yes, sometimes The Toddler’s dramatic streak starts something it can’t finish. In a testament to The Baby’s willingness to assist her sister, she actually does come running for that rather vague anti-climax.

2. On being Snow White, not having the right head
The Toddler is dressed in her Snow White costume, but she has identified a problem with it: ‘I’m looking like Snow White, but I haven’t got a Snow White head!’

3. On The Baby’s food, eating it
Silly Mummy, The Toddler, The Baby and Grandma are at a cafe. The Toddler and The Baby are sharing a sandwich. However, The Baby is currently asleep, and her part is waiting for her. The Toddler has finished her own share and is now eyeing up The Baby’s share. As the sandwich was cut into three pieces originally, Silly Mummy decides The Toddler can eat The Baby’s half of the third piece (The Baby rarely eats as much as The Toddler anyway). The Toddler approves of this decision: ‘I’m sure The Baby won’t mind.’ The Toddler subsequently relents, and feels like she should leave a bit for The Baby: ‘The Baby can have a tiny little bit. That’s for The Baby.’ The Toddler sets aside the tiniest imaginable piece. Then she picks it up again and eats half of the tiny piece. She puts the remaining morsel back on the plate, before reaching for it once more: ‘Try a bit more of it.’ She eats the rest of The Baby’s tiny share. The Baby is apparently not getting her tiny little bit. The Baby is going to be lucky to get any sandwich at all, as The Toddler points at the remaining third of the sandwich – The Baby’s share – and declares: ‘That one’s for me!’

4. On her new single
The Toddler is thrilled to reveal her new single to the world: ‘So, what I’m going to sing is a new one. It’s called Going on the Step.’ As it turns out, this is less of a song and more of an interpretative dance, as The Toddler promptly (and silently) runs off to the step.

5. On castle building
The Toddler has plans, but she is not entirely confident about them: ‘I’m going to build a big castle. But I’m not very good at these things. But I can try.’

6. On anyone, not there
The Toddler is on the phone, but it appears no one else is: ”Hello? Is anyone there? No. Anyone isn’t there.’

7. On knowing what she’s doing
The Toddler is rushing up the stairs, and Silly Mummy warns her to be careful. The Toddler pooh poohs Silly Mummy’s concerns: ‘I will be careful. I know what I’m doing.’

8. On Lady Mummy
Silly Mummy has a new name, apparently. The Toddler dashes over: ‘Hi, Lady. Lady, what can I do for you? Thanks, bye, Lady!’

9. On toast, no time to lose
Silly Mummy has just informed The Toddler that her toast is ready. This is something The Toddler takes very seriously: ‘The toast is ready! Quick! No time to lose!’

10. On sight-seeing
The Toddler is trying to arrange a sight-seeing trip for The Baby: ‘Come on, The Baby, let’s go and look at the view.’ The Baby seems underwhelmed. Possibly because the ‘view’ The Toddler is excitedly encouraging The Baby to come an inspect is…the sofa.

The Baby’s Corner
The Toddler is refusing to eat her dinner. Silly Daddy wants her to eat her dinner: ‘The Toddler, take a bite.’
The Baby wants to join in. She wants to take a bite. She nearly gets it right: ‘Bite me!’


If you’d like to see further posts in the ‘Ten Funniest Things The Toddler Said Last Week’ feature, they can be found here.


  1. laura dove says:

    Aww I love this! Bite me had me laughing out loud, so cute when they get things wrong, I dread the day when they start getting things right and they lose their cuteness! #MarvMondays

  2. Lady Nym says:

    I am always amazed by how enthusiastic and concerned Bear can be about some trivial thing Tyger is waffling on about but I guess younger siblings just pick up on the urgency of the older sibling. Excellent list as always.


  3. Alice says:

    I, like the Toddler, often feel like I have the wrong head. For instance, today I am wearing zebra print and my head is completely the wrong head for that!
    Very funny, as always.
    Bite me.
    x Alice

  4. Love the “no time to lose!” when the toast was ready and The Baby trying to encourage The Toddler to take a bite with “Bite me!” The Toddler’s phone conversations are funny too – especially the “someone is doing something” and I do love the comment about the Snow White head which makes me think of Princess Mombi in Return to Oz, with all her changeable heads. Thanks for sharing with #ftmob 🙂

  5. He, he! Sounds like a lot of things our little one says, or has said at one time. I cant wait to see how she interacts with a little sibling in a few months time. The toddler sounds hilarious, poor baby! Thanks for sharing this on #MarvMondays. Emily

  6. Nikki says:

    The toddler just kills me. I laugh so hard everytime I read of her Antics. In fact this is the second time I’ve read through this post, and I’m still giggling. My favorites are number 2 not having a snow white head… That just cracks me up. She is so aware of everything it’s amazing that she’s still just a toddler. She blows me away. And number three the sandwich Saga. She is so funny I can’t imagine that you were not losing it while she was stealing the baby’s sandwich. And then just leaving just a teeny tiny crumb for the baby to eat while she eyed the last piece of the sandwich. She cracks me up. Can’t wait for the next installment.

  7. Giggling away as ever to your post, thank you!
    My daughter would view chocolate in the same vein as your shared sandwich, she’ll ask if I’d like a piece and I’ll think “aaw, she’s sharing…fab” and then I’ll be given a morsel which even a robin would find too small. Thought that counts though!
    Thanks for linking up with #SSAmazingAchievements

  8. I do love these, I would love to know how old your toddler is. Little E is coming up to 21 months and this week we have been getting so many words. I can’t wait to see what happens when she can put them all together #SSAmazingAchievements

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